Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

Sort:  Recent   |   Oldest   |   Rating

Search Messages:
Page: 2 of 6286

   messageicon I should be ashamed of my behavior, but to be clear, I am not.
←Rate | 06-10-2022 01:40 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Life’s greatest tragedy is that we grow old too soon, and wise too late.
←Rate | 06-13-2022 02:46 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I’m in BIG trouble if people find out I don’t really have Tourette’s.
←Rate | 06-14-2022 02:53 Comments (0)  

   messageicon If your voice held no power, they wouldn’t try to silence you.
←Rate | 06-14-2022 02:53 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Deleting history has become more important than making it.
←Rate | 05-24-2022 05:07 Comments (0)  

   messageicon T-Rex shares gender reveal party with friends, Yucatan Peninsula 66 million years ago.
←Rate | 05-25-2022 02:58 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Some of you have never heard the story of the “Little Engine that Could,” and it shows.
←Rate | 05-28-2022 01:37 by Lilly_69 Comments (0)  

   messageicon When a man opens a car door for his wife, it’s either a new car or a new wife.
←Rate | 07-30-2022 01:55 Comments (0)  

   messageicon When you go into court you are putting your fate into the hands of twelve people who weren’t smart enough to get out of jury duty.
←Rate | 07-30-2022 01:55 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Originality is the fine art of remembering what you hear but forgetting where you heard it.
←Rate | 07-30-2022 01:53 Comments (0)  

   messageicon The Girl Scouts are just a cookie company that gets away with child labor.
←Rate | 04-20-2022 02:02 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I could really go for a pinata right about now. I’d love to beat the crap out of something and then have some candy.
←Rate | 07-04-2022 02:56 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Cinderella must have had some strange feet if her slipper didn’t fit anyone else in town.
←Rate | 07-21-2022 05:04 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Always be nice to people that have access to your toothbrush.
←Rate | 07-08-2022 09:05 Comments (0)  

   messageicon When she’s using her man’s phone to check the weather and wind blows her into his inbox.
←Rate | 07-04-2022 02:57 Comments (0)  

   messageicon In France you don’t say “I miss you.” You say, “Tu me manques,” which means “you are missing from me.” I love that.
←Rate | 04-19-2022 10:42 Comments (0)  

   messageicon The bird flu? I hope so.
←Rate | 04-19-2022 11:14 Comments (0)  

   messageicon The fact that jellyfish have survived for 650 million years without a brain is good news for you.
←Rate | 07-08-2022 09:05 Comments (0)  

   messageicon The best zoom calls are the ones where a pet makes a cameo like Stan Lee in one of the Marvel movies.
←Rate | 07-03-2022 06:37 Comments (0)  

   messageicon To suppress free speech is a double wrong. It violates the rights of hearer as well as those of the speaker.
←Rate | 07-03-2022 06:40 Comments (0)  

Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Status Message:

... characters left