g0re Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Just because you attract a lot of nasty skanks does not mean you're a stud. It means that your own kind recognizes you.
←Rate | 11-22-2011 17:51 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon Whoever came up with the term "one tough cookie" had no idea about the structural integrity of baked goods.
←Rate | 11-22-2011 17:56 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon People complain too much on airplanes. like "For real? I cant get hi speed internet?! AND MY CHAIR DOESNT LEAN BACK!" .... "Dude, you are sitting in a chair... IN THE GOD DAMN SKY!"
←Rate | 11-22-2011 17:57 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon If only the Indians had given the Pilgrims donkey on Thanksgiving. We'd all be getting some ass today.
←Rate | 11-23-2011 22:50 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon They should really make stomach medicines taste better, cause the last thing I want to swallow when I'm sick is something chalky and ass flavored.
←Rate | 11-23-2011 22:52 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon Due to the Global Financial Crisis, Ke$ha will now be known as Ke¢ha.
←Rate | 11-23-2011 22:56 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon With great power comes a great electricity bill.
←Rate | 11-23-2011 23:03 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon It takes 22 muscles to smile and 37 muscles to frown. That means I'm working out harder than you, Mr. F*cking Happy.
←Rate | 11-23-2011 23:04 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon How to Lose Weight: Turn your head to the left, then to the right. Repeat when offered food.
←Rate | 11-23-2011 23:06 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's an awkard situation when you make a milk shake and no one shows up in your yard.
←Rate | 11-23-2011 23:10 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon My New Years Resolution is to be less vain. It's going to be difficult though, considering how sexy I am.
←Rate | 11-24-2011 13:39 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon What's on the board: 2•54/57(7+5/8)²•ab-c³ What teacher sees: 2+2=4 What you see: すきうせちし what you remember: ______.
←Rate | 11-24-2011 13:47 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon Lazy rule number 43: can't reach it, don't need it.
←Rate | 11-24-2011 13:53 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon There are four stages of life; 1) You believe in Santa Claus. 2) You don't believe in Santa Claus. 3) You are Santa Claus. 4) You look like Santa Claus.
←Rate | 11-24-2011 13:57 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Dont worry the spider is smaller than you" "So is a grenade"
←Rate | 11-24-2011 13:58 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hello? Mother Nature? Yes I would like to cancel my monthly subscription...Ah, I can't do that before 40 years are up? No I would not like to transfer to the 9 month plan....
←Rate | 11-24-2011 14:08 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon Wake up in the morning feeling like I'm 50. Grab a saucer out the cupboard I gotta feed my kitty. Before I leave, brush my teeth, with a tube of Colgate, cause when I leave for the night, I'll be back by 8.
←Rate | 11-24-2011 14:11 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sometimes it's fun to use unnecessary amounts of anger: "Peter can I have one of your chips?" "no" "DAMN IT PETER, I WILL SH!T ON YOUR GRAVE!!"
←Rate | 11-24-2011 14:12 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon Arnold Schwarzenegger has a big one. We're not sure if Lady Gaga has one. Madonna doesn't have one. The Pope has one but never uses it. What is it? A last name.
←Rate | 11-24-2011 14:38 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm not single, I'm in a long distance relationship with this girl who lives in my future.
←Rate | 11-24-2011 14:42 by g0re Comments (0)  




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