g0re Funny Status Messages

   With great power comes a great electricity bill.

   t's annoying that you have to sexually rub the wall while you search for the light switch in a dark room.

   It seems like in movies, when they want a female to look older, they just cut her hair.

   Sometimes, you have to hear a song twice before you decide you like it.

   If gay people are fruity, then straight people are veggies and bisexuals are tomatoes.

   Me: I wasn't that drunk.. Myself: Dude, you were talking to yourself! Me: ...and... Myself: ...and you still are.

   What if P Diddy was actually called Pete Diddy and we just misheard him and now he just goes with it because it's too late to correct everyone, but every night he goes home and cries and whispers to himself "My name is Pete".

   Wake up in the morning feeling like I'm 50. Grab a saucer out the cupboard I gotta feed my kitty. Before I leave, brush my teeth, with a tube of Colgate, cause when I leave for the night, I'll be back by 8.

   on a scale from 1-10, you're a 9 and I'm the 1 you need...

   If you hold your shoe up to your ear in public, you can hear the sound of people laughing at you for looking like a dumb-a$$.

   What does frozen beer, burnt pizza and a pregnant girl all have in common? A dumba$$ who forgot to take it out in time.

   Everything is made in China, Except for babies, They're made in the VaChina

   It's better to have a life of 'Oh Wells than a life of 'What if...'

   The best kind of laughter, is laughing so hard it's silent.

   Accidentally mixed my I can't believe it's not butter with my real butter. Now I don't know what to believe..

   who else pretends someone you like is randomly watchin u, so that you do whatever you were doing 10x better?

   "He broke my heart I broke his xbox <3 :))" ...Right. Things like this are probably why he broke up with you in the first place.

   What's on the board: 2•54/57(7+5/8)²•ab-c³ What teacher sees: 2+2=4 What you see: すきうせちし what you remember: ______.

   You were so beautiful, until your 30 day trial of Photoshop ended.

   Arnold Schwarzenegger has a big one. We're not sure if Lady Gaga has one. Madonna doesn't have one. The Pope has one but never uses it. What is it? A last name.