Kisstopher Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon A pregnant prostitute went to a doctor and he asked, “Do you know who the father is?” She replied, “Well, if you ate a can of baked beans, do you know which one made you fart?”
←Rate | 10-05-2011 12:50 by KISSTOPHER Comments (0)  


   messageicon I love myself but I'm not "post pictures of myself everyday on my Facebook wall" love myself.
←Rate | 01-09-2013 23:56 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear Men. When a woman says she doesn't want to talk about it, you'd better shut up, grab a chair and get ready to listen…for hours.
←Rate | 12-12-2012 13:53 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon You seem insecure. Let's go out for drinks.
←Rate | 10-19-2012 13:30 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm too sexy for my ex.
←Rate | 12-19-2011 12:54 by KISSTOPHER Comments (0)  


   messageicon Every woman has that ONE guy she will never lose feelings for, even if she gets married to another.
←Rate | 05-12-2011 02:25 by KISSTOPHER Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I ever go missing, put my picture on a bourbon bottle; no one I know drinks milk.
←Rate | 05-10-2012 14:50 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon That rather uneasy moment when you are walking with your girl and you see a lesbian with a chick hotter than yours.
←Rate | 10-19-2011 15:09 by KISSTOPHER Comments (0)  


   messageicon I am never shocked or surprised when someone I trust and love backstabs or betrays me. Even the Devil was once an angel. Even Judas was once a loyal disciple.
←Rate | 05-12-2011 01:59 by KISSTOPHER Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you actually believe in this Doomsday & Rapture nonsense...Please gracefully delete yourself from my friend's list...Coz I am allergic to retards and idiots.
←Rate | 05-19-2011 06:51 by KISSTOPHER Comments (0)  


   messageicon Oh, you like camping? I like drinking outside too.
←Rate | 02-12-2013 13:09 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon I swear one day I'm going to wake up with my phone shoved up my ass and divorce papers scattered around me.
←Rate | 03-12-2013 05:21 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you're happy and you know it.......you're probably single.
←Rate | 01-14-2013 06:35 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon Writing your girl a love poem is a little less special when she helps you spell some of the words.
←Rate | 12-02-2012 09:56 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm sorry I slapped you but you didn't seem like you would ever stop talking and I panicked.
←Rate | 03-07-2013 01:33 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you're not into casual sex, I can put on a bow tie and we'll call it formal sex.
←Rate | 12-19-2011 02:48 by KISSTOPHER Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just once I would like to be summoned by a king, or a wizard, instead of the courts.
←Rate | 02-26-2013 11:51 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon I makes me sad to think that drug dealers know better math than I do.
←Rate | 02-20-2013 12:52 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon Guys, never give up. If a girl doesn't reply to your text, call her. If she doesn't answer, knock on her door. They love a persistent man.
←Rate | 04-12-2013 15:47 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think things did not work out between us because we both loved the same person; I loved you and you loved yourself.
←Rate | 08-17-2011 02:13 by KISSTOPHER Comments (0)  




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