g0re Funny Status Messages



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Page: 14 of 28

   messageicon It would be amazing if all restaurants had to end their URLs with ".nom"
←Rate | 11-04-2011 15:05 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon Once you hate someone, everything they do is offensive. "Look at this b!tch, eating those crackers like she owns the place!"
←Rate | 11-04-2011 17:12 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sluts are like Gary; they only like you for the cookie in your pants.
←Rate | 11-04-2011 17:17 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's kind of disappointing when you're reading someone's bio on any site and are somewhat interested, but then you reach the end and it says you don't like me, then PISS OFF!!!" Well, that was rude
←Rate | 11-04-2011 17:40 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon Life is just a long, sick game of "Would you rather."
←Rate | 11-04-2011 17:54 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you think about it, most of your friendships stay in the "humor zone", where silences are awkward and must be resolved with laughs. Deep friendships allow you to be yourself instead of just a comedian.
←Rate | 11-04-2011 19:48 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon the people who you babysit for, you should poke holes in all the condoms and ensure yourself at least five more years of babysitting money.
←Rate | 11-04-2011 19:58 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon If there was ever a Titanic themed party and you couldn't figure out what to go as, you could always go as an iceberg and crash the party.
←Rate | 11-05-2011 17:30 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon The only correct answer to "Are you ticklish?" is "I have explosive diarrhea right now,"
←Rate | 11-05-2011 17:41 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon It would be funny to make your facebook status "OMG IT ACTUALLY WORKS" and then 5 minutes later make another facebook status that says "Well, I'm gonna test out this time machine",
←Rate | 11-05-2011 17:46 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon Two men walk into a bar. The first says, "I'll have some H2O." The second one says, "I'll have some H2O too." Then he dies
←Rate | 11-05-2011 17:48 by g0re Comments (2)  


   messageicon Statistics show that 1 in 20 of us live next door to a convicted pedophile. Not me though, I live next to two stunning 12 year olds.
←Rate | 11-05-2011 17:53 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon Kids in math problems have way too much time on their hands. Like seriously Avi? You're going to calculate the angle at which you need to ride your bike to get to Market Street? Get a girlfriend or something.
←Rate | 11-06-2011 20:20 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon You know what's beautiful? Read the first word again.
←Rate | 11-06-2011 20:21 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon Whoever said that nothing rhymes with orange clearly doesn't know the correct pronunciation of 'nothing,'
←Rate | 11-06-2011 20:24 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon I bet you're naked under those clothes... You slut
←Rate | 11-06-2011 20:36 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon So I've been chatting with this 13 year old girl online. Shes funny, flirty and sexy. Now she tells me shes an undercover cop, how cool is that for someone her age?
←Rate | 11-06-2011 21:08 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon Midnight bathroom trip...eyes forward, avoid mirrors, happy thoughts.
←Rate | 11-07-2011 01:51 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon Best way to handle insults? Accept them! ex: "You're so ugly!" "Tell me about it." or "You're an idiot!" "Yeah, it's a problem..".
←Rate | 11-07-2011 02:09 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon No one can change a person, but someone can be a persons reason to change. - Spongebob.
←Rate | 11-07-2011 02:11 by g0re Comments (0)  




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