g0re Funny Status Messages

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Page: 13 of 28

   messageicon It's a recipe for disaster when your country has an obesity epidemic and a skinny jean fad.
←Rate | 11-10-2011 16:44 by g0re Comments (0)  

   messageicon I don't understand why people are so amazed when I say that my grandfather survived Auschwitz. I mean, most German officers did.
←Rate | 11-10-2011 16:43 by g0re Comments (0)  

   messageicon Girls: Theres always going to be that girl you think is much prettier, funnier, sweeter and just generally more perfect but have you ever realized that you're probably that girl to someone else?
←Rate | 11-10-2011 16:36 by g0re Comments (0)  

   messageicon I wish I could type my mood into my iPod and it would make a playlist for me.
←Rate | 11-09-2011 21:01 by g0re Comments (0)  

   messageicon Sometimes you can't tell if you're just in a bad mood or everyone around you is being annoying.
←Rate | 11-09-2011 20:57 by g0re Comments (0)  

   messageicon Everything is made in China, Except for babies, They're made in the VaChina
←Rate | 11-09-2011 17:39 by g0re Comments (0)  

   messageicon How is LIL WAYNE, a man with a wife, ex-wife, 5 baby mommas, 3 boos, 2 hoes an a partridge in a pear tree, gonna tell me how to love.
←Rate | 11-09-2011 17:34 by g0re Comments (0)  

   messageicon The funniest thing about the Darth Vader kid car commerical was that the parents thought they started the car.
←Rate | 11-09-2011 16:56 by g0re Comments (0)  

   messageicon You've really got to hand it to short people, because sometimes they often can't reach it.
←Rate | 11-09-2011 16:52 by g0re Comments (0)  

   messageicon I never let my children watch band performances on TV. Too much sax and violins.
←Rate | 11-09-2011 16:50 by g0re Comments (0)  

   messageicon something to mark their territory. I mean if someone peed on something most people would be like, "Eww, okay. That's yours now."
←Rate | 11-08-2011 19:35 by g0re Comments (0)  

   messageicon When a package says "easy open" I end up using scissors, knife, hammer, gun and a lightsaber.
←Rate | 11-08-2011 19:34 by g0re Comments (0)  

   messageicon Well, obviously we have a Santa in the North Pole. He's climbin' down yo chimney, droppin' yo' presents off Bringin' cheer so ya'll need to hang the stockings, deck the halls, and leave some cookies cuz he's visiting errrybody out there.
←Rate | 11-08-2011 19:18 by g0re Comments (0)  

   messageicon It's amazing the things you'll do while procrastinating; it's almost anti- procrastination. It's like "Well, I just re-read all 7 Harry Potter books learned fluent German and mastered the ability of knife throwing... But I still didn't start that essay"
←Rate | 11-08-2011 18:07 by g0re Comments (0)  

   messageicon Ghetto people are always naming their kids after things they can't afford... Mercedes, Diamond, Pearl, Car Insurance.
←Rate | 11-08-2011 18:05 by g0re Comments (0)  

   messageicon This Planking epidemic is getting out of hand. The old lady next door been laying outside for 3 days now.
←Rate | 11-08-2011 00:12 by g0re Comments (0)  

   messageicon Homosexual has the same number of letters as cantaloupe. Coincidence? Yes.
←Rate | 11-08-2011 00:11 by g0re Comments (0)  

   messageicon If your apartment is hit by a dolphin DO NOT GO OUT TO SEE IF THE DOLPHIN IS OK. That's just how the hurricane tricks you into coming outside.
←Rate | 11-07-2011 18:39 by g0re Comments (0)  

   messageicon Life is like a bowl of soup; you only get blown if you're hot.
←Rate | 11-07-2011 18:31 by g0re Comments (0)  

   messageicon If you can't remember someone's name then, ask them "what was your name again?" Out of instinct, they tel you their first name. Then say "Oh I knew that, I meant your last name!" And boom, you get the full name, and you're not rude. Double score.
←Rate | 11-07-2011 17:26 by g0re Comments (0)  

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