fadolo Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Shoutout 2 all the dark skinned girls with the cheetah print tattoo that looks like a 2nd degree burn.
←Rate | 02-27-2012 11:51 by fadolo Comments (0)  


   messageicon I like to throw a fake punch at a hooker's crotch. If she flinches, I know it's a dude.
←Rate | 02-24-2012 12:46 by fadolo Comments (0)  


   messageicon Your picture on Facebook (`▽´) .Your face in real life (‾(••)‾)
←Rate | 02-23-2012 19:01 by fadolo Comments (0)  


   messageicon Apparently, I can't say "Blak paint!" any more. I have to be PC and say, "Please paint that wall, Leroy."
←Rate | 02-20-2012 15:24 by fadolo Comments (0)  


   messageicon My kids got in a fist fight while playing one of those claw machines at the pizza joint & sh@t like that is why I'm never sober.
←Rate | 02-20-2012 12:23 by fadolo Comments (0)  


   messageicon Wish I was rich enough to own a room full of bees & if someone upset me I could order my muscular butler to "Take them to the Bee Room!"
←Rate | 02-20-2012 12:06 by fadolo Comments (0)  


   messageicon Three skiers kiled in an avalanche today... meanwhile in my living room me and my beer remain totally safe.
←Rate | 02-19-2012 19:23 by fadolo Comments (0)  


   messageicon I understand how people feel when they see their ex with someone else. I feel the SAME way when I see the pizza guy at somebody else house
←Rate | 02-18-2012 19:39 by fadolo Comments (0)  


   messageicon Young guys with beards are always secretly sad when you talk to them & don't compliment their beard.
←Rate | 02-17-2012 00:40 by Fadolo Comments (0)  


   messageicon "It's complicated" is Facebook for "he's not hittin' it right."
←Rate | 02-16-2012 18:40 by Fadolo Comments (0)  


   messageicon That moment of epic sadness when you shut down the computer and then you realize that you need it again.
←Rate | 02-16-2012 16:13 by fadolo Comments (0)  


   messageicon Last night my wife and I had a dinner party. About Halfway through it, I decided to walk the dog. My wife went mental and told me to grow up and stop doing tricks with my yoyo.
←Rate | 02-16-2012 15:48 by fadolo Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think I'd rather hear gunshots coming from my parents bedroom than hear one more second of Chris Brown tonight.
←Rate | 02-13-2012 00:02 by fadolo Comments (0)  


   messageicon Paul McCartney looks like my uncle Fred after a 12 pack.
←Rate | 02-12-2012 23:59 by fadolo Comments (0)  


   messageicon Who let Tony Bennett out of the nursing home?
←Rate | 02-12-2012 22:38 by Fadolo Comments (0)  


   messageicon My wife's always walking into things and getting hurt. Yesterday it was our bedroom while I was fu*king her sister.
←Rate | 02-12-2012 20:08 by fadolo Comments (0)  


   messageicon I could have lived forever without knowing grandpa had a 'dong down to his knees' but thanks for the visual grandma.
←Rate | 02-12-2012 19:06 by fadolo Comments (0)  


   messageicon I mean, we all grieve in our own ways. She chose to listen to The Bodyguard soundtrack all night. I chose $1,100 worth of lap dances.
←Rate | 02-12-2012 11:41 by fadolo Comments (0)  


   messageicon RIP to the millions of people who die every day and don't get recognized
←Rate | 02-12-2012 01:32 by FADOLO Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you don't use 1:11, 2:22 or 3:33 when starting the microwave you have yet to unlock my level of laziness.
←Rate | 02-11-2012 20:57 by fadolo Comments (0)  




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