Sean Funny Status Messages



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Page: 13 of 38

   messageicon I'm the first one to admit when I'm I'm wrong. I just never is.
←Rate | 04-19-2012 08:49 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon My smart phone has a lot of capabilities, but none as valuable as being able to pretend I'm on it when I run into someone I know in public.
←Rate | 04-19-2012 08:49 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm putting a goal line around my house to keep Ryan Leaf from getting in.
←Rate | 04-19-2012 08:56 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon Found an old playboy from the 70's last night, I wonder why they didnt call it hair club for men...
←Rate | 04-19-2012 09:46 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wonder if the Def Lepard version of Rock Band will come with only one drum stick?...what...too soon?
←Rate | 04-20-2012 13:31 by SEAN Comments (1)  


   messageicon Me: Hey, you want some oysters? Him: No thanks. I'm Jewish. Me: Oh don't worry they're free.
←Rate | 04-25-2012 16:34 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon I dress for success because getting dressed is the most successful thing I do all day.
←Rate | 04-25-2012 16:35 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon I like to go on OK Cupid and find the worst possible matches for myself and message them being like "We can make this work."
←Rate | 04-25-2012 16:37 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon Pro tip; If your parents, your boss, and three of your friends invite you to a party at a clinic its a trap.
←Rate | 04-25-2012 16:37 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon I look in a mirror and wonder what became of the eager, wide-eyed boy with the world in front of him, then figure by the size of me I ate him.
←Rate | 04-25-2012 16:39 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon In high school I was voted "most likely to succeed". Boy, did I prove those idiots wrong!
←Rate | 05-03-2012 11:44 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon Nicholas Cage is the Nickleback of actors.
←Rate | 05-03-2012 11:45 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't think Chumbawumba is getting back up this time.
←Rate | 05-03-2012 11:46 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon Newt Gingrich bows out of Presidential race to focus on being the world's largest high-fructose corn syrup storage silo.
←Rate | 05-03-2012 11:46 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon I like songs that list a lot of things then have a chorus about the end of the world that's on fire as we know it & it's always burning.
←Rate | 05-03-2012 11:47 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon Nothing says you're out of shape like getting winded while vacuuming.
←Rate | 05-15-2012 11:17 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon The guy who invented "Take Your Child To Work Day" probably forgot to drop his kid off at school on the way to work.
←Rate | 05-15-2012 11:17 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon I have a slight cold, so let me know if you need my address to send sympathy cards.
←Rate | 05-15-2012 11:18 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon I will be the first rapper to rap about the troubles of programming a spare Garage Door Opener remote.
←Rate | 05-15-2012 11:20 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think it's pretty awesome to be overweight, because I can usually foil any trapdoor plans
←Rate | 05-15-2012 11:21 by SEAN Comments (0)  




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