goodeolboy Funny Status Messages

   My Supervisor is complaining that he's tired of eating chicken all the time, as I sit here eating a "chicken flavored" cup of noodles.

   Just discovered: A cup of noodles consists of two noodles, a half mile long.

   Stop saying you have lake front property, that's a freakin' ponding basin.

   There will soon come a time were I can not voice my OPINION by saying,"I HATE vile Brussels Sprouts!!" For fear of offending Farmers and the general population. So consider yourselves informed.

   Don't make me choke you with this imaginary cell phone cord.

   If your significant other wont swallow the milk left over in a bowl of cereal, chances are that's not all they won't swallow.

   At this stage of the football season, all I care about is #s and food.

   Kind of surprised the half time show wasn't performed by the Kottonmouth Kings.

   Breaking: Denver complaining of contact high...they swear.

   Shout out to the guy in drive thru who went against the man, and gave me THREE packets of Ketchup for my large fries.

   You know you're country, when the smell of a dairy reminds you of Oreos.

   Uh-huh...my underwear is!! -my excuse since Kindergarten. #stpattys

   Sorry I started a fight in the middle of your parking lot pARtyy- F.Gump

   That 1/4 mile of blindness, before the defrost kicks in...

   Hey McDonald's, here's an add to fire back at Taco Bell: Eat at McDonald's, you won't sh.. your pants. -your welcome.

   Today's Pet Peeve: Overachieving seat belts.

   We've all seen that person on Social Media who likes to debate things as if they are a college professor. Dude...you're arguing with someone who uses "dat"

   Well, it's 12:30pm and I have seven dollar bills to my name. I guess it's that age old question: Lunch? Or Lotto scratchers.

   (Possible post if Facebook was around in 1979) Busy day today. Me and the boys are riding all over town on our bikes. Later we'll be at the lot playing Hot Wheels, so hit me up if you're in.

   Possible post if Facebook was around in 1983: DANGIT...street lights are on. Guess who's getting beat with a belt when he gets home :'(