Sean Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Black History Month should be called "Four Weeks Of Morgan Freeman's Voiceover Work"
←Rate | 02-02-2012 14:27 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Nothing is impossible." I disagree. I'm doing nothing right now... it's totally possible.
←Rate | 02-02-2012 14:28 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just watched Jersey Shore for 5 minutes and now I realize why we have to do things like write "do not eat" on dry silica packets.
←Rate | 02-04-2012 08:37 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm going to start carrying fireworks in my car because sometimes my horn just isn't enough
←Rate | 02-08-2012 15:25 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon Looked at the label and the "Muscle Milk" I'm drinking "contains no milk". Great. Next I'll probably find out it's not made of ground muscle.
←Rate | 02-08-2012 15:25 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon Every time I use a public bathroom, one thought occurs..."Seriously? This many people have Sharpies on them at all times?"
←Rate | 02-08-2012 15:26 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's quite ironic. Whitney used to do commercials for Pepsi, then spend all the money she made on Coke
←Rate | 02-13-2012 17:13 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon Adele swept at the Grammys. Not to be confused with Vanilla Ice, who swept after the Grammys because that's his job at the Staples Center.
←Rate | 02-13-2012 17:14 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon The most impressive thing about Beyonce and Jay-Z as parents, is how dedicated they are to giving Blue Ivy® a normal life.
←Rate | 02-13-2012 17:15 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon Really tired of homeless people tweeting photos of the garbage they're about to eat.
←Rate | 02-13-2012 17:16 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon I didn't think my hangover was that bad until I spent 10 minutes logging into my nephew's Etch-a-sketch
←Rate | 02-13-2012 17:19 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon Amputees may take risks, but they never go out on a limb.
←Rate | 02-13-2012 17:22 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you think your wife has a great sense of humor, try leaving a trail of rose petals leading to a sink full of dirty dishes. #fail
←Rate | 02-17-2012 09:21 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sometimes, I drive by the schoolyard and scream "STOP WASTING YOUR TIME!" to white kids playing basketball.
←Rate | 02-17-2012 09:25 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon Every person has a story to tell and that's why I stay home.
←Rate | 02-29-2012 10:52 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon Offering a hobo $5 from across the street is my version of Frogger.
←Rate | 02-29-2012 10:52 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon I called Poison control, but they said they couldn't make Every Rose Has Its Thorn stop playing on the radio. Worthless.
←Rate | 02-29-2012 10:54 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I've given you a card at your birthday party, know I bought it a half-hour ago and signed it on the dashboard of my car 5 minutes ago.
←Rate | 02-29-2012 10:56 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon I thought my sister was lying when she told me Davey Jones from the Monkees had died....................then I saw her face.
←Rate | 03-01-2012 15:22 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon A source says Snooki is pregnant and the Republican candidates suddenly switch their stance on abortion.
←Rate | 03-01-2012 15:30 by SEAN Comments (0)  




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