joser Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I made eye contact with someone in traffic and then didn't let them merge. I feel like a James Bond villain.
←Rate | 05-14-2010 19:00 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon The smaller the dog, the crazier the chick.
←Rate | 07-12-2010 11:34 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Happy Father's Day to all the Dads who went out to get some milk, and actually came back home.
←Rate | 06-20-2010 22:06 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Weird... I just found a haystack on top of this needle...
←Rate | 05-04-2010 22:52 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Whoever said "two wrongs don't make a right" has obviously never experienced McDonalds breakfast after a night of binge drinking.
←Rate | 05-17-2010 10:00 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just because we have the same last name doesn't mean we have to be Facebook friends, Grandpa...
←Rate | 05-06-2010 17:46 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon the only horoscope you will ever need goes like this: Planets are doing stuff, so it's a good day to do stuff but be prepared in case bad stuff happens.
←Rate | 07-09-2010 19:37 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon do you think the creator of Snuggie is laughing his *ss off because he convinced a nation of people that its cool to wear a robe backwards?
←Rate | 04-30-2010 17:23 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Even if your life was a total waste of space, there's always hope that you'll die in a weird enough way to make a CSI episode.
←Rate | 05-05-2010 12:09 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon loves nerds 2² ever...
←Rate | 04-22-2010 19:49 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Your dependence on oxygen is where our similarities end...
←Rate | 04-23-2010 13:27 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Collecting my thoughts... I almost have a whole set!
←Rate | 05-27-2010 13:39 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Judging by the lack of Fathers Day cards I received in the mail today, I'm guessing your m0m never told you.
←Rate | 06-20-2010 22:26 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon So yeah I just went outside and I'm pretty sure I won't be doing that again until at least October.
←Rate | 07-06-2010 17:18 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with keyboards
←Rate | 04-29-2010 23:25 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon I hate to sound so skeptical but I'm starting to think that The Office isn't a real documentary.
←Rate | 05-05-2010 12:08 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I had nothing left to complain about, I'd complain about that.
←Rate | 05-18-2010 12:29 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon I feel sorry for our ancestors who used to have to wait days or weeks to hear from friends that they were laughing out loud.
←Rate | 05-25-2010 18:19 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Every time I pour water on myself when attempting to use a water bottle I get sad because even hamsters have mastered this.
←Rate | 06-01-2010 13:29 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think crime pays. The hours are good, you travel a lot
←Rate | 05-04-2010 17:44 by Joser Comments (0)  




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