g0re Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon You know it's a bad break-up when your ex-girlfriend is posting Taylor Swift lyrics as her facebook status.
←Rate | 10-19-2011 18:52 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon Buying someone flowers is kind of a weird idea. Like: Hey, these are for you, now watch them slowly die, because I love you.
←Rate | 10-22-2011 20:10 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sometimes you just need someone to tell you you're not a loser and are worth a little more than crap.
←Rate | 10-15-2011 19:12 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon Realizing that you aren't that smart after all is a sign of maturity.
←Rate | 10-17-2011 21:55 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon Telling a child to sit in the corner and think about what they've done is not a punishment: all it does is give the child time to come up with a better plan for next time.
←Rate | 10-14-2011 03:17 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon Some people look at a mousetrap and just see a trap for a mouse. Some of us look and see free cheese and a challenge.
←Rate | 11-17-2011 22:04 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don't you hate it when you get texts from people like "ok" or "ya" and you don't know what to say so you just don't text back.
←Rate | 10-19-2011 02:39 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's better to have loved and lost than to stay home every night and download increasingly shameful pornography,
←Rate | 10-12-2011 19:29 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon Even though they have no use for them, guys would look kinda weird without nipples.
←Rate | 10-13-2011 19:01 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon If M&M's came in white wrappers, there would be too many punchlines to the beginning of this sentence.
←Rate | 10-12-2011 19:55 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon A good drinking game; watch Wheel of Fortune and do a shot for every time they applause.
←Rate | 11-02-2011 16:17 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon Friends are like bananas. If you peel back their skin, and eat them, they wil die.
←Rate | 11-10-2011 20:51 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon Cell phones ruined the era of throwing people into pools.
←Rate | 10-27-2011 22:50 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon I've seen 4 people go from "in a relationship" to "single" today...yep, it's definitely no shave November.
←Rate | 11-02-2011 03:30 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon I never let my children watch band performances on TV. Too much sax and violins.
←Rate | 11-09-2011 16:50 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon In Toy Story 3, if Andy was 17, that means that the toys stood there in silence while andy furiously masturbated.
←Rate | 10-22-2011 16:07 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon They should really make stomach medicines taste better, cause the last thing I want to swallow when I'm sick is something chalky and ass flavored.
←Rate | 11-23-2011 22:52 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon You'd think that after a while, Scooby and Shaggy would stop being such pu$sies when they see a ghost or something. They should know it's just someone in a costume.
←Rate | 10-31-2011 18:28 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sometimes girls try too hard for boys that dont even care....its kinda sad...girls nowadays are losing their self-respect...
←Rate | 10-18-2011 17:03 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's kind of sad that they replaced Mailbox on Blue's Clues with e-mail.
←Rate | 10-12-2011 22:12 by g0re Comments (0)  




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