Fazzy Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon I had a peanut butter sandwich on white bread with no jelly and nothing to drink. Long story short: I'm at the ER getting treated for Lockjaw.
←Rate | 08-07-2022 14:34 by Fazzy Comments (0)  

   messageicon Would the last Baby Boomer to enter heaven please bring a copy of Abbey Road?
←Rate | 07-26-2022 09:04 by Fazzy Comments (0)  

   messageicon Recent studies have shown that dogs don't actually have a fear of fireworks. Their reactions are based on their being upset at not being able to shoot off their own.
←Rate | 05-20-2022 16:51 by Fazzy Comments (0)  

   messageicon What with unwanted pregnancies, social diseases and failed relationships, the Love Boat reboot will be titled the "Tug" Boat.
←Rate | 05-13-2022 20:38 by Fazzy Comments (0)  

   messageicon I can relate to the Johnny Depp/Amber Heard defamation trial. Sort of. I dreamt an old girlfriend chased me around the bed with a machete after eating a box of Ex-Lax.
←Rate | 05-07-2022 07:23 by Fazzy Comments (0)  

   messageicon I realized how non-materialistic I am. To me, a step up the social ladder isn't a new car, house, or clothes... it's the rare occasion when I line the waste paper basket in the bathroom with a Target bag instead of one from Wal-Mart.
←Rate | 05-02-2022 11:15 by Fazzy Comments (0)  

   messageicon I used to sneak out of my house to go to parties. I now sneak out of parties to go to my house.
←Rate | 04-29-2022 17:45 by Fazzy Comments (0)  

   messageicon Johnny Depp could have avoided this entire mess if he had simply issued an Amber alert.
←Rate | 04-13-2022 10:47 by Fazzy Comments (0)  

   messageicon Better and more accurate than any dating site: Ask her if she's on Will Smith or Chris Rock's side. If she says Will Smith, run away as fast as you can.
←Rate | 04-09-2022 08:07 by Fazzy Comments (0)  

   messageicon I know not with what weapons WW3 will be fought, but WW4 will be fought with sticks and stones.
←Rate | 03-19-2022 17:47 by Fazzy Comments (0)  


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