Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon You know me. If I ever win the lottery, rest assured nobody around me will be poor and I mean that. I will move to a rich neighborhood.
←Rate | 01-04-2025 07:32 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon Walmart has their Gillette razors under more security than Pete Hegseth’s war plans.
←Rate | 03-26-2025 18:27 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The fact that anyone thought Todd Chrisley was straight is wild to me
←Rate | 05-31-2022 14:19 by Cyndi Comments (0)  


   messageicon A Shoutout to this ATM fee for making me buy my own money.
←Rate | 06-06-2022 09:53 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Was up all night again trying to figure out how I would describe Yahtzee to a deaf person without using the jerk-off motion.
←Rate | 06-10-2022 10:55 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Tonight I'm Invisible Man for Halloween, as in you won't see me at any of your parties.
←Rate | 10-31-2022 21:48 Comments (0)  


   messageicon All balloon rides are cancelled until further notice.
←Rate | 02-14-2023 15:18 Comments (0)  


   messageicon We know your from Michigan because You think alkaline batteries were named for a tiger outfielder.
←Rate | 11-19-2022 06:04 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Chaz Bono should be a weatherman. He is after all partly sonny. sorry I had to Cher.
←Rate | 07-08-2022 13:24 Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I'm behind a slow car I steer my car a little to the right so the people behind me can see it isn't my fault.
←Rate | 04-12-2024 05:59 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon BREAKING: Canada to remove tariffs, if the United States agrees to do the same. Would you look at that… 🤣
←Rate | 04-02-2025 15:10 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Philadelphia has more assholes than any other city.
←Rate | 05-14-2025 09:55 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The more I study the differences between the Beatles as a group vs their solo careers, the more I realize that the Beatles as a group could have been easily named the George Martin Project.
←Rate | 07-13-2025 22:16 by FassyLarry Comments (0)  


   messageicon has been marked safe from a kiss cam at a major event.
←Rate | 07-20-2025 00:41 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Two slices of bread got married... The wedding was amazing, until someone decided to toast the bride and groom
←Rate | 08-26-2025 07:12 Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's amazing what that one degree can do in your home temp wise, up or down.
←Rate | 10-23-2025 15:36 by MM Comments (0)  


   messageicon If a liar's pants really did catch on fire, watching the news would be a lot more fun.
←Rate | 11-30-2025 06:32 Comments (0)  


   messageicon 97% of what I worry about, never happens. Apparently worry works.
←Rate | 01-27-2026 21:21 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I've walked like an Egyptian, moonwalked, Walked this Way, walked on the wild side, walked on Sunshine, walked all over you and walked the line. I've done a lot of walking. I'm tired.
←Rate | 03-30-2026 11:25 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Every dang time I'm about to win an argument with my wife, someone wakes me up. .
←Rate | 03-21-2022 12:23 Comments (0)  




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