Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Name: If girls have period pains, guys should be kicked in the balls once a month

   The added bonus of fingering a fortune teller on the rag is, I got my palm red for free. :/

   Never mix Viagra with Iron Supplements. It will cause you to spin around and point North.

   Well well well, if it isn’t the “Mom, can I spend the night at my friend’s house after prom” trick.

   partying like a rock star.

   alive

   Celebrate 9/11/2010 by burning a copy of the Patriot Act.

   someone is having a keg of the Mondays

   He who hesitates is not only lost, but probably 12kms from the next motorway exit.

   Barn raising,Frontierville,and Farm town have turned seemily well to do people in to beggars

   has made a poor spending decision and would now like Congress to bail him out for the sake of his shareholders.

   My girl told me I should embrace more of the holiday season. So I glued a mistletoe to my back pocket!!

   First the dead birs in Arkansas, now the 2 million dead fish in Maryland. Are we in a Michael Bay disaster movie?

   These liberty tax male lady liberty people on the side of the road make me happy I'm not them.

   going ice fishing in my neighbor's fish tank. Yep, its that cold.

   They told me to think outside the box....I just learned this did not mean I could leave the box.

   looks like arnold schwarzenegger...but before he begins taking steroids.

   I cant stand people who look down on people that look down on people

   why should I ever stop smiling when I live in a joke world!

   Dont Touch..Its call The No No Spot For A Reason.