g0re Funny Status Messages

   I'd like to live forever, if only cuz I am curious as to how the course of human history will play out: the probably drastically new technology in the far future, the rise and fall of new countries development of government, humans rights, literature, etc

   No I did not flinch because you scared me, I flinched because of my instinct to survive.

   There's that moment of awesome when you get an A on the test... and then you realize you were given someone elses' test...

   Guys: boobs are like Wendy's; "You know when it's real,"

   Sir Dentist, my gums are bleeding because you're trying to saw them in half with a piece of floss, not because I don't take care of them

   Life is all about ass, everyone's either covering it, laughing it off, kicking it, kissing it, trying to get a piece of it, or simply just being one :)

   Relationships aren't tests, so why cheat?

   y r men thinkers and women talkers? because men have two heads and women have four lips.

   If anybody is interested in a job where you sit and drink beer, 3 hours a day, 2 days a week, for $8000 a week, contact me. We can look together.

   "Bromance" should be a relationship status on facebook.

   Don't you hate when you put some much work and effort into an assignment and still fail it miserably.

   Why does Obama give his speeches behind bulletproof glass? Just because he's black doesn't mean he's going to shoot anybody/

   Right now your holding your phone in your right hand, having your 3 fingers behind, your pinky on the bottom & scrolling down with your thumb! :)

   Stop, drop, and roll isn't just an effective fire safety tip, but it is also an interesting way to get out of a boring conversation.

   Life is a b!tch, and Monday's its son..

   It's annoying when you go to a birthday party and you know nobody there except the host/hostess, and the host/hostess doesn't even pay attention to you so you're just sitting there awkwardly.

   something to mark their territory. I mean if someone peed on something most people would be like, "Eww, okay. That's yours now."

   Going to McDonalds for oatmeal is like going to a prostitute for a hug.

   Nemo is such a badass. He was the first one of his friends to touch a butt

   It sucks whenever you hear a song you really like in public but you don't know the name of it.