g0re Funny Status Messages

   Where my knickers at? Oh wait, they're just chillin' with my britches

   I sell drugs to fat people. It sounds better than "I work at McDonalds."

   Some people's facebook $tatuse$ are ridiculously overdramatic. "going to school feels like a knife through my heart!!!" it's like, .....shut up.

   IPods: where 8 GB of memory really means 6.46.

   Come on proactiv, don't lie, its not a limited time offer, you've ALWAYS been $19.99.

   It's got to be interesting for those kids from Extreme Makeover: Home Edition when they become teenagers Imagine trying to bring a girl back to your place. "Hey baby, ever done it in a bed shaped like a T-Rex's head?"

   Dreams are just fanfictions of your life written by your brain.

   There's always that feeling of relief when you run in 10 minutes late for class, and it turns out that your teacher is later than you.

   Don't be disappointed if the person you love doesn't love you, because God has said "This is my world and even I couldn't make my every creation love me"

   Once you hate someone, everything they do is offensive. "Look at this b!tch, eating those crackers like she owns the place!"

   When you're trick-or-treating, it kind of makes you sad if the people handing out candy are younger than you.

   If your girlfriend/boyfriend cheated on you and lied about it, you would be way more pissed than if they just cheated on you, told you, and you could either work it out or break up with them

   Snooki's like a basketball: Orange and passed around by a bunch of sweaty guys.

   Dear whoever is reading this, you're beautiful and someone out there is crazy about you. So smile. Life is too short to be unhappy.

   "I wasn't that high!" "Dude, you walked into class, late, sat down & tried to put your seatbelt on."

   The best posts are the ones that make you say "I had no idea other people did that!".

   It's annoying when you think of an awesome idea or thing to do and within the next few minutes, you completely forget what it was, but the memory of how awesome it was stil lingers..

   Nobody likes whorish olive oil.

   Don't you hate it when you're angry for a certain reason, and someone makes you smile. It's just.... just... I'M TRYING TO BE ANGRY DAMMIT.

   After a complete high school education, the things Jimmy Neutron says don't sound all that impressive anymore.