g0re Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon You know those nights when you just can't fall asleep? Maybe it's because you're awake in someone else's dream.
←Rate | 12-07-2011 04:02 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon You've really got to hand it to short people, because sometimes they often can't reach it.
←Rate | 11-09-2011 16:52 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon Need a distraction today? Not only does 11+2=12+1, but also when you rearrange the letters in "eleven plus two," you get "twelve plus one." How many letters in each phrase? Thirteen.
←Rate | 12-13-2011 19:11 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon Welcome to High School. Pick 2- Good Grades, Enough Sleep, or a Social Life
←Rate | 11-26-2011 20:48 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon BBC News: Gaddafi 'launching cluster bombs'. Rebel forces to retaliate with Honey nut missile.
←Rate | 10-20-2011 18:02 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon Life is like a pen!s. Simple, soft, straight, relaxed and hanging freely. Then women make it hard.
←Rate | 12-16-2011 01:26 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon This Planking epidemic is getting out of hand. The old lady next door been laying outside for 3 days now.
←Rate | 11-08-2011 00:12 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon New rule: if you're watching tv and have no idea what the f*ck is going on, it's a car commercial.
←Rate | 12-03-2011 23:01 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dwayne Wade n Chris Bosh both took cpr classes this summer... just incase Lebron decides to choke again this year.
←Rate | 01-12-2012 21:45 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon The funniest thing about the Darth Vader kid car commerical was that the parents thought they started the car.
←Rate | 11-09-2011 16:56 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon Boy: I wana fu*k you so hard right now. Girl:What?! Boy: Stupid autocorrect! Hey what you doin later? Girl: But, we're talking face to face.
←Rate | 12-07-2011 23:25 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon If she's amazing, she won't be easy. If she's easy, she won't be amazing. If she's worth it, you won't give up. If you give up, you're not worthy
←Rate | 12-07-2011 23:33 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's silly when people say that you shouldn't like them "because they might hurt you." Everyone is going to hurt you. Some people are just worth the risk.
←Rate | 11-03-2011 17:54 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon When a package says "easy open" I end up using scissors, knife, hammer, gun and a lightsaber.
←Rate | 11-08-2011 19:34 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's amazing the things you'll do while procrastinating; it's almost anti- procrastination. It's like "Well, I just re-read all 7 Harry Potter books learned fluent German and mastered the ability of knife throwing... But I still didn't start that essay"
←Rate | 11-08-2011 18:07 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I die, I want my tombstone to say, "Did not forward an email to ten friends,"
←Rate | 12-07-2011 03:51 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon *Logs onto FaceBook and reads* 5 song lyrics, 2 people telling what they're doing right then at that very moment, 3 stupid pictures of food or funny faces, 4 attempts at a witty remark, 1 truly funny witty remark, and a person who likes 75 pages.
←Rate | 11-26-2011 21:57 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon Me: Wow everything seems right for once. Life: Hold on let me f*ck it up.
←Rate | 12-13-2011 05:26 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon Good: You give the birds and bees talk to your daughter Bad: She keeps interrupting Worse: With corrections
←Rate | 10-06-2011 05:33 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon Cheating on a good girl is like throwing away a daimond and picking up a rock.
←Rate | 12-13-2011 19:07 by g0re Comments (0)  




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