SeaN Funny Status Messages
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Lindsay Lohan should at least have to spend as much time in jail as we have to spend hearing about it.
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11-30-2011 11:23 by SEAN
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If you are under house arrest but live in a mobile home can you go anywhere you want?
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11-29-2011 09:49 by SEAN
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A waffle house is like a gas station bathroom that serves waffles.
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11-22-2011 17:24 by SEAN
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My dog was licking his privates. My friend said "I wish I could do that". I said "You better pet him first, he's kind of mean".
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11-21-2011 17:39 by SEAN
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I stopped listening to heavy metal after googling "where to buy Anthrax" landed me on several government watch lists.
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11-21-2011 17:38 by SEAN
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They say animal behavior can warn you when an earthquake is coming. Like the night before that last earthquake hit, our dog took the car keys and drove to Arizona.
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11-18-2011 15:03 by SEAN
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Always carry $100,000 cash on you at all times in case you ever feel like getting a sandwich from an airport.
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11-18-2011 14:59 by SEAN
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20 years from now, some adults are going to say they grew up on the "bad part of town," meaning there was no 4G in that area.
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11-18-2011 14:56 by SEAN
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Scared the postman by going to the door naked. I'm not sure what scared him more, my naked body or the fact that I knew where he lived.
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11-18-2011 14:54 by SEAN
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Japanese scientists have now created a camera with such a fantastic shutter speed that it is now possible to take a photograph of a woman with her mouth closed.
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11-16-2011 13:40 by SEAN
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Snow in the forecast and the TV weather gal said she was expecting 8 inches tonight. I thought to myself, 'fat chance,' with a face like that!
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11-16-2011 13:35 by SEAN
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I'd just come out of the shop with a meat and potato pie, large chips, mushy peas & a jumbo sausage. A poor homeless man sat there and said 'I've not eaten for two days.' I told him, 'I wish I had your will power.
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11-16-2011 13:34 by SEAN
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I took my Biology exam last Friday. I was asked to name two things commonly found in cells. Apparently "Blacks" and "Mexicans" were NOT the correct answers.
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11-16-2011 11:14 by SEAN
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I have a six figure salary. Unfortunately, all six figures are to the right of the decimal point.
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11-07-2011 14:02 by SEAN
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Some moments you remember all your life. Reading this, unfortunately, is not one of those moments.
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11-07-2011 13:56 by SEAN
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With only one plug in this hospital room it's not looking good for Nana's respirator if my phone battery dies and I have another AWESOME face book status update .
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11-07-2011 13:55 by SEAN
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If you can text with both hands at the same time, you are Ambi-Textual.
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11-07-2011 09:52 by sean
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I keep seeing studies finding fecal matter on things. Anyone considered that perhaps it's the scientists that aren't washing their hands?
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11-03-2011 17:39 by SEAN
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If you're genuinely surprised about Kim Kardashian getting divorced, I need to tell you something about Santa Claus...
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11-03-2011 10:54 by SEAN
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Had to take a drug test on my lunch break for my life insurance policy, the lady told me that I passed and asked me why I look so angry, I told her that my dealer has some explaining to do now....
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11-02-2011 17:51 by SEAN
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