SeaN Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon We don't have a chimney but I've assured my children that Santa and anyone else could easily sneak into our home at night.
←Rate | 12-20-2011 14:57 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon The life expectancy of reindeer is 8-10 years. We can stop singing about Rudolph now.
←Rate | 12-20-2011 14:56 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don't lie, cheat or steal. The government hates competition.
←Rate | 12-20-2011 14:49 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon anything is pocket sized if your ass is big enough
←Rate | 12-19-2011 16:57 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's not technically a hip hop show unless at some point, 9 seemingly random guys are invited on stage to waves their hands for no reason.
←Rate | 12-19-2011 11:59 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon I like how none of the "robbers" on that Vonage commercial are black. Way to dodge that bullet, Vonage.
←Rate | 12-19-2011 11:57 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon I really don't see why Conrad Murray is going to prison for what he did. House pulls crap like that all the time
←Rate | 12-19-2011 11:55 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon Japanese has so many characters, their alphabet soup comes in two separate cans.
←Rate | 12-19-2011 11:53 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon Homeless people wouldn't be half as poor if they didn't waste all of their money on sharpies and cardboard.
←Rate | 12-18-2011 10:33 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon My God.....even I!M not white enough to like Michael Buble.....
←Rate | 12-18-2011 10:31 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon If it's true that opposites attract, I should be looking for someone that gets up early and does stuff.
←Rate | 12-16-2011 11:06 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon I did really well when I worked at the carnival. I guessed people's temperature within 5 degrees
←Rate | 12-16-2011 11:06 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm too embarrassed to tell you how many times I've mistaken insulation for cotton candy.
←Rate | 12-15-2011 11:27 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you leave your phone unattended around me there is a good chance I will send a text to all of your contacts that says "I have recently turned gay."
←Rate | 12-15-2011 09:24 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I bite into a York Peppermint Patty, I get the sensation of chocolate covered toothpaste.
←Rate | 12-15-2011 09:23 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon Nothing says 'I hope you choke on this and die' like the gift of a fruitcake
←Rate | 12-15-2011 09:22 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon The ultimate act of trust is buying your spouse a gun, and then showing them the correct way to use it.
←Rate | 12-15-2011 09:15 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon Patience" is what parents have when there are witnesses
←Rate | 12-07-2011 13:37 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon Someone told me that the word "gullible" was not in the dictionary. Well I checked and it was there! Sometimes people's idiocy surprises me.
←Rate | 12-02-2011 15:56 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon Every time I'm not with my kid and someone asks me "Where's the baby?" I just yell "Oh crap!" and run in the direction I came from.
←Rate | 12-01-2011 16:31 by SEAN Comments (0)  




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