SeaN Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Why the outrage over Romney's misspelling of "America?" For gosh sake, his parents didn't know how to spell "Matt."
←Rate | 05-31-2012 10:19 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon Considering renting out my services to people who need awkward situations made awkwarder.
←Rate | 05-31-2012 10:18 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon Golf ball sized hail wouldn't be so destructive if we just made golf balls a lot smaller.Do I have to think of everything?!
←Rate | 05-25-2012 10:38 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's depressing to think how much more Dora the Explorer has seen and done in her life compared to mine.
←Rate | 05-25-2012 10:38 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon I gave my wife a gluestick instead of chapstick last weekend and she's still not talking to me.
←Rate | 05-25-2012 10:37 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon How is the show "Deadliest Catch" not about AIDS?
←Rate | 05-25-2012 10:36 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon SCARY BUT TRUE: statistics show that everyone who's ever used a cell phone will die.
←Rate | 05-25-2012 10:35 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon I've never seen more than 600 dollars worth of cars in a 7-Eleven parking lot.
←Rate | 05-15-2012 11:25 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon Yes, America's the fattest nation on earth but that means were also the funniest when falling off bicycles.
←Rate | 05-15-2012 11:24 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon My guidance councilor had a poster in his office of a kitten hanging from a tree that said "You should probably go ahead and kill yourself."
←Rate | 05-15-2012 11:23 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think it's pretty awesome to be overweight, because I can usually foil any trapdoor plans
←Rate | 05-15-2012 11:21 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon I will be the first rapper to rap about the troubles of programming a spare Garage Door Opener remote.
←Rate | 05-15-2012 11:20 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon I have a slight cold, so let me know if you need my address to send sympathy cards.
←Rate | 05-15-2012 11:18 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon The guy who invented "Take Your Child To Work Day" probably forgot to drop his kid off at school on the way to work.
←Rate | 05-15-2012 11:17 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon Nothing says you're out of shape like getting winded while vacuuming.
←Rate | 05-15-2012 11:17 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon I like songs that list a lot of things then have a chorus about the end of the world that's on fire as we know it & it's always burning.
←Rate | 05-03-2012 11:47 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon Newt Gingrich bows out of Presidential race to focus on being the world's largest high-fructose corn syrup storage silo.
←Rate | 05-03-2012 11:46 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't think Chumbawumba is getting back up this time.
←Rate | 05-03-2012 11:46 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon Nicholas Cage is the Nickleback of actors.
←Rate | 05-03-2012 11:45 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon In high school I was voted "most likely to succeed". Boy, did I prove those idiots wrong!
←Rate | 05-03-2012 11:44 by SEAN Comments (0)  




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