SeaN Funny Status Messages
Search results for status messages containing 'SeaN': View All Messages
Page: 23 of 38
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
The saddest part of Harrison Ford turning 70 is how easily he could still kick my butt.
←Rate |
07-24-2012 10:16 by SEAN
Comments (0)
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
It's time to clean the refrigerator when something closes the door from the inside.
←Rate |
07-20-2012 14:58 by SEAN
Comments (0)
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
Really, every section of the greeting card aisle could be called "Societal Obligation."
←Rate |
07-20-2012 14:57 by SEAN
Comments (0)
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
Just found my birth certificate. Ugh, it's official: I've gained weight.
←Rate |
07-20-2012 14:51 by SEAN
Comments (0)
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
My closet should be on Hoarders. Fell in looking for second shoe. 45 minutes later I had to cut my left arm off with a plastic hanger.
←Rate |
07-20-2012 14:48 by SEAN
Comments (0)
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
Two of the three times I've jumped out of a moving car, Creed was on the radio. The other time my grandma entered the freeway the wrong way.
←Rate |
07-18-2012 13:22 by SEAN
Comments (0)
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
What if you *didn't* put a giant sticker on your car that said what kind of car it is? That could be cool too...
←Rate |
07-18-2012 13:20 by SEAN
Comments (0)
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
With proper application of LSD, any horse can talk like Mr. Ed.....
←Rate |
07-18-2012 13:18 by SEAN
Comments (0)
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
If you still wear a Calculator watch, my guess is you don't need it to add up all the ladies you get....
←Rate |
07-18-2012 13:15 by SEAN
Comments (0)
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
I try to have garage sales but as soon as anyone shows a slight interest in something I take it back into the house & look at it with pride.
←Rate |
07-11-2012 10:00 by SEAN
Comments (0)
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
Thanks Fox, but I get my political info from the Facebook posts of crazy relatives and people I haven't seen since high school.
←Rate |
07-11-2012 09:58 by SEAN
Comments (0)
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
No I don't have anything smaller than a twenty. You should. You're the one who's running a store.
←Rate |
07-11-2012 09:58 by SEAN
Comments (0)
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
I've never been interrogated, but I have ordered a sandwich at subway, so I think I'm prepared.
←Rate |
07-11-2012 09:55 by SEAN
Comments (0)
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
As for my solicitation of prostitution charge Your Honor, I would like it dismissed under of the Dire Straits "Chicks for free" act of 1985.
←Rate |
07-11-2012 09:54 by SEAN
Comments (0)
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
I get my kicks attending random funerals and claiming to be the deceased's oldest son from his other family.
←Rate |
06-29-2012 10:29 by SEAN
Comments (0)
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
So the guy in Miami who ate that other dude's face was NOT on bath salts, just weed. What kind of weed gives you the munchies for hobo face?
←Rate |
06-29-2012 10:23 by SEAN
Comments (0)
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
If the world was really going to end wouldn't all the expiration dates be set for December 23rd or whatever day it is.
←Rate |
06-28-2012 10:37 by SEAN
Comments (0)
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
Drunks arguing over music will probably be one of the rooms in hell.
←Rate |
06-26-2012 17:46 by SEAN
Comments (0)
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
The battery to my car remote died and I had to manually open my door like some parachute pants wearing break dancer from the dang 80's.
←Rate |
06-26-2012 17:45 by SEAN
Comments (0)
![messageicon](images/button/quote.png)
I keep a frisbee in my truck just in case I get attacked by Phish fans.
←Rate |
06-26-2012 17:45 by SEAN
Comments (0)
[Search Results] [View All Messages]