Snotty Funny Status Messages

   UGHhhh,, Spelling errors agrevated me SO much,,,, Just mix up two letters and your whole post is urined

   Free range chicken, because freedom is delicious.

   I'm taking my two beautiful children home from Disney World...... I'm leaving the two ugly ones there.

   What,,Are you a weekly magazine?,,,,, You've got ALOT of issues

   Hey guys,,, Which sounds better: No longer rabid?, Or rabies free since 2003?........ I'm trying to update my e-harmony profile

   The first rule of plagiarism club looks familiar

   I want to do a post about a pirate dating site called e-Yarrrmony,,, but the process is too arrrduous

   If you were cyberbullied by me or my gang on the wii tennis forums,,,, I apologize. I have grown a lot since then.

   Son, we're Irish,,,,,, So technically every one of your ribs is a McRib

   LITTLE KNOWN FACT: The guy that wrote the script for "Gremlins" originally meant it as a documentary about having kids

   Kitchen utensil theft...................... it's not worth the whisk.

   COWORKER: Got a minute?.... ME: Sigh,,,, (Puts "Days Without Being Annoyed By Idiots" sign on desk to 0) Sure,,, What's up?

   Even if they sold ten-ply toilet paper, I would still fold it at least twice,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, I have trust issues.

   Paula Deen would like everyone to know she is sincerely sorry that there are other races.

   I feel like I haven't seen Lady Gaga wearing a hat of various meats and cheeses in a long time................. Hope she's ok

   If you're buying Smart Water for 4$ a bottle,, I'm sorry to tell you it's not working

   Blind people would be a lot more exciting if they carried around swords.

   With all the Potato Chip flavors available now, I see no point in buying actual food...

   If I owned a copy shop, I'd only hire identical twins to work there.

   One of the fake rooms at Ikea should just be a couple fighting as they try to put the furniture together