Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   NBC is reporting the pope is stepping down because someone stole the van and candy he used to recruit new altar boys and the Vatican refused to buy him a new one.

   Did you hear?? The Pope is giving up Jesus for Lent!!

   PRO TIP: If you cut your pizza up into small enough pieces,,, you can use it as a topping for your other pizza.

   The Pope is really setting a high bar for giving something up for Lent.

   I expect Obama to name himself the new Pope soon.....

   Ever notice the Pope's hat looks just like an upside down McDonald's Biggie Fries box?

   Seriously!! Who sucked The Pope.

   Pope Benedict is so old, there are only two jobs available to him. 1) Bag boy at the supermarket. 2) Run for President on the Republican ticket.

   Looks like the Pope is headed for the old popes home..

   Whats a pope?

   there is a Reason why Everybody says Everything happens for a Reason?"

   Makers Mark... Now with more Water !!! Same price !!! Going from 45 percent by volume to 42 percent by volume.

   Pope Benedict XVI to resign because he "no longer has the strength to fill the hole of a boy's orifice"....Sorry... I meant fulfill the roles of his office

   If pigs could fly, I'd eat the s hit out of those wings!!

   Big Shout-out !!!,,, to Whitney Houston as she celebrates one year of sobriety today

   So, the Pope is resigning, eh? Perhaps I shouldn't have poked him so many times....but, in fairness - HE started that poke war to begin with.

   the Pope just changed his relationship status to It's Complicated...

   just heard the ad for the McDonalds New Fish Mcbites, I can only imagine them tasting like used Ben Wah balls.

   To help reduce cost, this status was typed in china.

   Every woman is beautiful, but some are only beautiful in the dark.