Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   So...I'm the only one left Occuying Wall Street so I'm going home...

   Watching this growing TOP CIA scandal is proof that women secretly runs the world!!!

   Mmmm...I see why Obama kept PBS

   So who's buying their kids Elmo toys this Christmas?....Anyone...?

   Its like the Mayans knew this was coming........CIA has been compromise, No mo tickle me Elmo, and Slena went Str8 again

   Nothing worse than staying the night at the girlfriend's house for the first time and having diarrhea.

   based on those Storage War tards, my s hit is worth $3.2 million...

   if you have a job where you have to wear a nametag, nobody gives a sh!t what your name is.

   When life gives you lemons, order the lobster tail.

   A delete and block combo coming right up.

   If it smells like fish, it's a tasty dish...if it smells like cologne, leave it alone.

   sippin' my coffee in peace and quiet!! Life is good :)

   I hate when the weather man says there is a chance of sprinkles in the forecast...makes me want donuts!!

   you can have Jack Frost!! I want Jack Daniels :)

   hi ho hi ho it's off to school I go! I don't learn much because the teacher is nuts ...hi ho hi ho

   Have you ever broiled a turkey for Thanksgiving? It's not bad if you don't mind your turkey a little rare. Okay, very rare but....

   while strolling thru the park, a dog bit my nutsack...that I carry to feed the squirrels.

   Judging by the empty seats at Dolphin's games, football is doomed in Miami. Time to realize it's soccer and thug roundball city down there. Will the last American to leave Miami please bring the goalposts?

   Go ahead and seceded, you will lose Hollywood and New York and you will gain Texas. YEE-HAW!

   If you're reading this "send money"!!!!!!