Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   I could eat a bowl of Alphabet soup and poop out a better arguement!

   People who live in glass houses must really hate birds.

   What if Gangnam Style is actually a rain dance and we've brought the frankenstorm down upon ourselves?

   All I can say is Thank You Sandy for giving me a break from the Election!

   Man that wind is really blowing hard out. I seen a chicken lay the same egg three times..

   People who live in glass houses shouldnt smoke crack!

   YAY! It's Tuesday. One day closer to sitting in a half empty bar watching a $hitty cover band butcher tunes I grew tired of 40 years ago.

   I am forever upgrading WHATSAPP but I never see no godamn difference.

   I don't know much about American sports. But from what I gather the New York Hurricanes are doing well.

   The hardest part of halloween is making those skeletons stay in my closet where they belong

   I tought my niece well, when we were carving our pumpkin I heard her wisper to it "that's what happens to snitches"

   Action movies don't seem as awesome when you realize all the actors, directors and writers are g ay...

   Not sure who swept New york faster.. The Hurricane or the tigers

   Hurrican Sandy is mother natures revenge for Jersey Shore.

   I hope that Donald Trump's toupee is spared from the wrath of Hurricane Sandy... Be safe, little ferret

   Sometimes,,, I wish marriage between a man and woman was illegal too.

   After seeing the aftermath of the hurricane, we should change its name from Sandy to Watery.

   Mitt Romney suggests that those whom are in Hurricane Sandy's path escape to their second or perhaps even third home...

   call-in sick every morning to somewhere you don't work

   It's a dog eat dog world. And I'm wearing Milkbone underwear...