Bob Funny Status Messages
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Since casino commercials abruptly end with "gambling problem, call 1-800gambler"......why don't booze commercials end with "drinking problem, call 1-800guzzler" ?
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05-19-2015 06:06 by Bob
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Don't know who's happier, the gay community or the ABA
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06-28-2015 07:45 by Bob
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Substitute " My ass" for "This girls" on fire and you're welcome Preparation H for your new ad campaign.
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09-03-2015 05:58 by Bob
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I wish these kids would stop crying. I won the Eater egg hunt fair and square.
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03-27-2016 19:53 by Bob
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I don't know how the law of averages works, but you'd think after 25yrs of marriage I'd be right at least once??........bOb
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04-08-2016 10:10 by bOb
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Sitting in a busy parkink lot tooting my horn when I see someone pressing their remote looking for their car.
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12-21-2016 20:46 by Bob
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If you're looking for a good Trump pee joke, Urine Luck
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01-12-2017 06:30 by bob
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Patriots are going to the Superbowl....The NFL is going to assign someone to check Tom Brady's balls throughout the game....don't want that on my resume
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01-24-2017 08:09 by bob
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I can think of one group of workers who are doing much better under this Trump presidency....comedians
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02-16-2017 21:32 by Bob
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"Spring Ahead" this weekend for Daylight Saving Time proves there is a much quicker way than Facebook to lose an hour in your life....
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03-08-2017 09:49 by bob
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The only thing worse than being stuck behind someone driving less than the speed limit is being the passenger of someone driving less than the speed limit.
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06-20-2017 05:25 by bob
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if you shave off your arm hair and it grows
back to the exact same length, does that mean its
twice as long as it was?
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06-23-2017 07:24 by bob
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The goal keeper in soccer is allowed to pick up the ball...so why doesn't he just pick it up and just run across the field to the other goal?
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09-12-2017 09:48 by bob
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Checked with my Sperm Bank to see my deposit was getting any interest..sadly they said Zero.
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04-05-2018 16:51 by Bob
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If anyone is interested, I'll be signing books tomorrow at Barnes & Noble from 5 p.m. until security escorts me out the door.
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01-04-2019 13:59 by Bob
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I was walking on the beach yesterday when I noticed this guy in the ocean splashing around and yelling " shark, help, shark!!" I just laughed, I knew that shark wasn't going to help him.
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01-04-2019 14:03 by Bob
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It's really cold out there folks. If you're heading out to Walmart, please wear two pairs of pajamas.
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01-04-2019 15:48 by Bob
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OMG.... I hate waiting in lines... I wish this woman would hurry up and pick a suspect.
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01-05-2019 06:55 by Bob
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As I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I remind myself that you can't always trust Google Maps.
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01-05-2019 08:09 by Bob
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I came home one day all proud as can be with my report card, I said to my mom, look I got a B in Reading, she said to me that's a D you moron!
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01-05-2019 08:27 by Bob
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