Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   "Find your ideal partner on Facebook!" No thanks, I can safely say that one quality I am not looking for in a partner is the ability to maintain a virtual farm.

   Nobody wished me a happy birthday today,,, which isn't surprising really, since it isn't my birthday.

   Don't you just hate it when people say stuff in their status that you really didn't want to know? I hate that.. Anyway, I'll cut this short cause,, I gotta go poop.

   this plave sucks now. I miss the glory days in 2008-2010 when only the chosen few knew about it..good bye all

   heres an idea, only post orginal stuff that you thought of. if you post something you think is "so funny" from another website..weve heard it already.

   Funny...the post below this one..is a lift of the post five below that. I give up.

   What's the difference between oral sex and anal sex? Oral sex makes your day and anal sex makes your hole weak...

   I just hope Tyler Perry names his 1st son 'Tyler Perry's Tyler Perry, Jr.'

   Snooki's due date is December 21st. looks like the Mayans knew what they were talking about.

   found the difference between being smart and wise: Smart is knowing what to say and wise is knowing whether or not to say it.

   I spent most of my money on beer and women, the rest I just wasted.

   i guess its time to get another dishwasher.........there is just so much drama in dating now

   The snookie and mayans thing is getting old now look at the previous jokes before doing a duplicate

   Dummies talking about dummies being dummies. Try funny.

   Don't worry if you think you're crazy, even the tall oak trees were once nuts.

   ʎdɐɹǝɥʇ uoısɹǝʌuı ʎɯ ɯoɹɟ sʇɔǝɟɟǝ ǝpıs buıɹǝɟɟns ɯɐ ı ʞuıɥʇ ı

   Can we stop all this about this Snookie. I doubt many of us give a baboon's bollok about it or her.

   I think A.D.D. must have been called P.A.K. when I was young because the only thing I can remember teachers yelling was "Pay Attention Kid!"

   I love it when I read a post and I think ive read the page but its just some idiot reposting a post from a few pages back.

   I dont even know who this "Snookie" person is?