Sean Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I try to have garage sales but as soon as anyone shows a slight interest in something I take it back into the house & look at it with pride.
←Rate | 07-11-2012 10:00 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you still wear a Calculator watch, my guess is you don't need it to add up all the ladies you get....
←Rate | 07-18-2012 13:15 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon With proper application of LSD, any horse can talk like Mr. Ed.....
←Rate | 07-18-2012 13:18 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon What if you *didn't* put a giant sticker on your car that said what kind of car it is? That could be cool too...
←Rate | 07-18-2012 13:20 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon Two of the three times I've jumped out of a moving car, Creed was on the radio. The other time my grandma entered the freeway the wrong way.
←Rate | 07-18-2012 13:22 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon My closet should be on Hoarders. Fell in looking for second shoe. 45 minutes later I had to cut my left arm off with a plastic hanger.
←Rate | 07-20-2012 14:48 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just found my birth certificate. Ugh, it's official: I've gained weight.
←Rate | 07-20-2012 14:51 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon Really, every section of the greeting card aisle could be called "Societal Obligation."
←Rate | 07-20-2012 14:57 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's time to clean the refrigerator when something closes the door from the inside.
←Rate | 07-20-2012 14:58 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon The saddest part of Harrison Ford turning 70 is how easily he could still kick my butt.
←Rate | 07-24-2012 10:16 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon Everything I know about the metric system, I learned from watching Farva on "Super Troopers".
←Rate | 07-24-2012 10:17 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon Yo bro, I wasn't sold on you being a cool dude, but that tint job on your Neon really speaks to me.
←Rate | 07-24-2012 10:18 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm so lazy, if autocorrect doesn't know the word after 3 letters I put my phone down.
←Rate | 07-24-2012 10:19 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon Felt I was deralict in my fatherly dutties...so I taught James the 'milk milk lemonadej childhood diddy....which he LOVED I might add.....
←Rate | 07-24-2012 10:21 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm starting to think the Jackson family might have some problems.
←Rate | 07-30-2012 16:18 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon My voicemail greeting is just me strangling a cat while reading bible passages.
←Rate | 07-30-2012 16:20 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon A recent gallop poll shows that horses prefer trotting.
←Rate | 07-30-2012 16:24 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm not watching the Olympics, but I've seen Cool Runnings, so like, I get it.
←Rate | 07-30-2012 16:24 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon Nothing angers me more than a prematurely broken shell in my Taco Kit
←Rate | 07-30-2012 16:25 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon Decided to spend my entire day alone in the car. Or as she calls it "shopping "
←Rate | 08-06-2012 11:03 by SEAN Comments (0)  




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