Sean Funny Status Messages
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There is nothing worse than running out of toilet paper and having to ask the guy in the next stall to wipe you.
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06-13-2012 08:39 by SEAN
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I put suicide notes next to roadkill so their animal families have some closure.
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06-13-2012 08:40 by SEAN
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People always ask why I am always so happy, I tell them I start my morning off the same as anyone, a glass of OJ in the am with breakfast- the only differance is the 5th of Vodka I add to mine
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06-15-2012 14:33 by SEAN
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A Smart Car would be good on gas, but I'd feel silly wearing it.
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06-19-2012 08:41 by SEAN
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Hunters, you shouldn't wear camo you should dress like cars. Deer will walk toward you and hope you kill them.
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06-19-2012 08:42 by SEAN
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It's cute how "America's Got Talent" focuses on singing & dancing instead of our real talents: overeating & complaining.
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06-19-2012 08:44 by SEAN
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Camping is a great way to show people that you hate your own home but can't afford a decent hotel.
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06-19-2012 08:45 by SEAN
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My girlfriend said she wanted to take me to see Magic Mike, I was really excited until I realized she was not talking about my drug dealer from college..
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06-26-2012 17:32 by SEAN
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The neighbors said we could use their hot tub so I'm deep-frying a deer.
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06-26-2012 17:35 by SEAN
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I replied "maybe" to your facebook event out of respect for the inherent uncertainty of life's journey.
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06-26-2012 17:37 by SEAN
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I keep a frisbee in my truck just in case I get attacked by Phish fans.
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06-26-2012 17:45 by SEAN
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The battery to my car remote died and I had to manually open my door like some parachute pants wearing break dancer from the dang 80's.
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06-26-2012 17:45 by SEAN
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Drunks arguing over music will probably be one of the rooms in hell.
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06-26-2012 17:46 by SEAN
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If the world was really going to end wouldn't all the expiration dates be set for December 23rd or whatever day it is.
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06-28-2012 10:37 by SEAN
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So the guy in Miami who ate that other dude's face was NOT on bath salts, just weed. What kind of weed gives you the munchies for hobo face?
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06-29-2012 10:23 by SEAN
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I get my kicks attending random funerals and claiming to be the deceased's oldest son from his other family.
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06-29-2012 10:29 by SEAN
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As for my solicitation of prostitution charge Your Honor, I would like it dismissed under of the Dire Straits "Chicks for free" act of 1985.
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07-11-2012 09:54 by SEAN
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I've never been interrogated, but I have ordered a sandwich at subway, so I think I'm prepared.
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07-11-2012 09:55 by SEAN
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No I don't have anything smaller than a twenty. You should. You're the one who's running a store.
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07-11-2012 09:58 by SEAN
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Thanks Fox, but I get my political info from the Facebook posts of crazy relatives and people I haven't seen since high school.
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07-11-2012 09:58 by SEAN
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