Sean Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon My guidance councilor had a poster in his office of a kitten hanging from a tree that said "You should probably go ahead and kill yourself."
←Rate | 05-15-2012 11:23 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon Yes, America's the fattest nation on earth but that means were also the funniest when falling off bicycles.
←Rate | 05-15-2012 11:24 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon I've never seen more than 600 dollars worth of cars in a 7-Eleven parking lot.
←Rate | 05-15-2012 11:25 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon SCARY BUT TRUE: statistics show that everyone who's ever used a cell phone will die.
←Rate | 05-25-2012 10:35 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon How is the show "Deadliest Catch" not about AIDS?
←Rate | 05-25-2012 10:36 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon I gave my wife a gluestick instead of chapstick last weekend and she's still not talking to me.
←Rate | 05-25-2012 10:37 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's depressing to think how much more Dora the Explorer has seen and done in her life compared to mine.
←Rate | 05-25-2012 10:38 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon Golf ball sized hail wouldn't be so destructive if we just made golf balls a lot smaller.Do I have to think of everything?!
←Rate | 05-25-2012 10:38 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon Considering renting out my services to people who need awkward situations made awkwarder.
←Rate | 05-31-2012 10:18 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why the outrage over Romney's misspelling of "America?" For gosh sake, his parents didn't know how to spell "Matt."
←Rate | 05-31-2012 10:19 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon I would like my Tombstone to read, "He was too Cheap to buy extra lett
←Rate | 05-31-2012 10:20 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon Unless you've figured out how to air condition your yard, don't invite me to your June or July outdoor weddings.
←Rate | 05-31-2012 10:23 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hey, don't wear skinny jeans if you have a big head. You look like a Pez dispenser.
←Rate | 06-04-2012 16:54 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon I got charged with indecent exposure for telling jokes naked at Home Depot. In my defense, “stand up shower” is very misleading.
←Rate | 06-04-2012 17:02 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon McDonald's being the official restaurant of the Olympics is like smoking being the official medicine of cancer.
←Rate | 06-04-2012 17:03 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon Those rappers seem to have an unhealthy interest in female dogs, don't they?
←Rate | 06-04-2012 17:04 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon When the hostess at the restaurant says "table for 2?" I always like to look surprised and whisper "you can see him too?"
←Rate | 06-05-2012 15:45 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon But seriously John this IS my first rodeo! What am I doing with this angry bull again?
←Rate | 06-13-2012 08:32 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just got a new Easy-Bake Oven for the blanket fort, don't tell me how to impress a woman.
←Rate | 06-13-2012 08:33 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon Nicki Minaj is always dressed like a Japanese girl's luggage.
←Rate | 06-13-2012 08:34 by SEAN Comments (0)  




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