Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon I think Facebook has some serious self-conscious issues...either that or it's being run by Heidi Montag...enough with the changes!!! You were so money the way you were...
←Rate | 02-11-2010 14:20 by RDC Comments (0)  


   messageicon If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
←Rate | 03-16-2010 14:59 by RandomGirlie Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm fed up with my brain remembering crap I'd like to forget and forgetting crap I'd like to remember!
←Rate | 03-27-2010 01:19 Comments (0)  


   messageicon the best way to piss off your wife is to tell her her pants look too loose.....
←Rate | 03-31-2010 19:04 by EH Comments (0)  


   messageicon So what's the dating website for drunk, blonde, recent college graduates who do not want to find a job called?
←Rate | 07-05-2010 13:39 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon There was a decrease in attendence for Saturday's NASCAR event and a Tim McGraw concert. In related news, the 14th summer redneck games were held in Georgia.
←Rate | 07-12-2010 20:08 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Never get into fights with ugly people, they have nothing to lose.
←Rate | 07-14-2010 12:59 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon "When you see Kentucky's fans, you just wonder. You think how wonderful it would be to go to their school. You wish you could trade places for a day, just so you could experience that feeling." - UCLA player Kris Johnson
←Rate | 08-15-2010 16:44 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room there?
←Rate | 08-19-2010 23:27 by Tracy Comments (1)  


   messageicon I am pretty bummed. I found out this morning the hard way that I am in fact, NOT a Jedi. That certificate from Lucusworks now has to come off of my wall. This is a sad day indeed.
←Rate | 08-24-2010 11:46 Comments (0)  


   messageicon OK Guys (and some of you girls). When someone says something to you and you're not sure what they say...don't just guess, ask so you don;t confuse "stay at my place, for play on my face!" It could be a little embarassing!
←Rate | 09-06-2010 20:36 Comments (1)  


   messageicon someone asked me what CRS was...I couldn't remember
←Rate | 09-17-2010 22:45 by Carolynn Comments (0)  


   messageicon DAMN you Farkle for temping me to Roll the Dice just one more time!
←Rate | 09-17-2010 23:14 Comments (0)  


   messageicon In the wake of the tornado, Fox News is whipping up a frenzy over the plans of some munchkins to build a community center in Williamsburg.
←Rate | 09-28-2010 13:40 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear Simon, why the hell should I do what you say???
←Rate | 10-03-2010 10:53 by Jjj Comments (2)  


   messageicon What is with going to the doctors while your sick and they have the nerve to ask how am I doing? "Yeahhh you know I'm doing pretty well just have 2 ear infections and bronchitis no big deal!" As if they don't know I'm not doing too great.
←Rate | 10-12-2010 14:35 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The snow term "Ass Deep To A Tall Indian"...has me profiling these people...
←Rate | 12-12-2010 18:43 Comments (0)  


   messageicon a guys favorite line to a female "we'll just lie here and cuddle"
←Rate | 01-07-2011 22:09 Comments (0)  


   messageicon she wishes housework was as easy as cleaning out my fb requests
←Rate | 01-09-2011 15:46 Comments (0)  


   messageicon the jets havent even made it to the runway lolz.. .
←Rate | 01-23-2011 21:25 Comments (0)  




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