Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Donald Trump in 2008: "Well, I know Hillary Clinton and she'd make a good president or good vice president." Then why does Trump support corrupt people?

   Q: Is there intelligent life form on planet Earth? A: Only in a few areas.

   A heart felt "Thank You" for the birthday wishes Due to sanitary reasons, I will not and cannot accept any money that comes out of bras

   Trump reveals his medical records. They include Dr. Dre, Dr. Hook, and the Spin Doctors.

   My First Question In Hell: What do you mean there's no ketchup and no ice water?

   Ask not what your country can do for you, ask who can build a giant wall for cheap.

   NETFLIX Bird Box about an English ladie's privates?

   The cashier asked if I'd like my milk in a bag to whom I replied "No thanks, I think it would be easier to carry home in the container."

   No matter how much you shake your peg...... The last drop always goes down your leg.

   Did you hear. DEMI LOVATO New song? Sober not Sober

   Since 1/20/17 I feel like I'm in the 1988 movie "The Live" and I'm one of the few people with a pair of the sunglasses.

   It’s so cute when billionaire philanthropists donate less than 1%. Bless their hearts.

   When my mother in-law said she wants to be creamated. I immediatley made her an appointment for next week.

   Ice bank mice elf.. say it real fast 10X

   Apparently grabbing your girlfriends boob, flattening it with your hands and yelling Surprise Mammogram isn't as fun for women than it is for men .

   Another celebrity just died this year....RIP Ronda Rousa Boxing Career

   Air Force One is a major downgrade for Trump! Will he stanhd for it?

   It is times like this that make me laugh at people from the south.Hurricanes & tornados, people still go to work, Snow, deserted streets and empty grocery stores.

   Negative People irks my nerves.. worry about yourself... maybe you're not getting promoted cuz you so negative!!!!

   I've stopped brushing my teeth in preparation for St. Patty's Day