Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   NFL= National Flag League

   I just lost my self respect at the Golden Corral.

   I've gotta have more people in my life that love my elbows.. .

   I have found that 99% of the time, the book is better than the movie. The 1% that is not, is porn.

   Dont use that tone of text with me!

   - Video Games don't make children violent. Lag does.

   I was watching some trailers at my local cinema when to my surprise a movie came on.

   Any other use of this status or any pictures, descriptions, or accounts of the status without the NFL's consent is prohibited

   OH SH*T I TURNED MY CLOCK BACK TO FAR ITS 1984 I JUST PUT ON MY WHAM HALF SHIRT AND I'm GOING TO THE ARCADE.......TTYL

   Sometimes your the windshield sometimes your the bug, but every now and then ya get to be a big effin rock and smash that windshield!!

   Dear Maths, All my life you made me find your X !!! Listen buddy...She's not coming back....So please move on!!! Regards, Frustrated Student

   I can finally use that one watch I never figured out how to adjust

   Its interesting that Obama is visiting India for the very reason Indians go to US : JOBS!

   wondering what a conversation between Chewbaca & the teacher from "Peanuts" would be like? Who would interpret?

   If you want to change the Font size on Facebook, just press CTRL and + till you get the size you want, Or CTRL and - to make it smaller.

   eating soup with chop sticks..........this may take awhile

   What would Zach Galifianakis do?

   Maybe I should get a ventriloquist dummy to say all the ignorant things I think and blame it on the dummy!....lol

   Instead of all this nonsence with an hour here or there or mess around with the whole leap years crap. We should accumulate the time for an extra day on the weekend!.

   reminding you that you need to turn your clocks back this weekend, i'm going to turn mine back to when I was 25.