Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   ✓ Adolf Hitler, ✓ Saddam Hussein, ✓ Osama Bin Laden, ☐ Mother-In-Law

   I had a thought......Maybe instead of defunding Sesame Street, we should defund Pakistan. F them losers!!

   Breaking News from Bikini Bottoms... Sponge Bob Square Pants has issued a HIGH Terrorist Alert. Reports coming in that Bin Laden has been spotted sinking around Mr. Krabs underwater mansion... More on this breaking story later...

   just downloaded this Lebron tone for my phone but I can't hear it cuz it doesn't have a RING!

   Now that Bin Laden is polluting the Arabian Sea, I hear the sharks have declared "Jihad!"

   ✓ Adolf Hitler ✓ Saddam Hussein, ✓ Osama Bin Laden, ☐ Waldo, ☐ Carmen Sandiego

   Somewhere, In An Afterlife, Sir Henry Cooper Is Beating Seven Shades  Out Of Osama Bin Laden :)

   tragic fail: the moment you realize that swig of milk is spoiled and its too late, you swallowed!

   Let's play a game. Let's pretend we're in love. lets text each other all the time, just for the fun. Whoever falls in love first, loses.

   I hate Walmart. The men's bathroom doesn't have any urninals! Just a bunch of women screaming telling me to get out

   After years in hiding, Osama Bin Laden walked into a bar. He ordered a shot and water chaser.

   I will never be too old to enjoy driving by a stranger, honking, and waving just to see the confused look on their face and awkward wave back.

   Regardless of whether or not I should know better, I thought we had already established that no, I do not.

   Jim Morrison was right: People ARE strange.

   Because of cell phones, kids today will never know what it's like to choke their friends with a phone cord.

   I shot Big Foot and dumped him in the ocean before I could get any pictures.

   I'm thinking about becoming a psychic...But I don't know what people would think.

   cant believe the yanks but the bin out on a bank holiday

   Trump: OBL is still alive...he is in a cave in the Tora Bora Mountains with Obama's Kenyan birth certificate

   they should have captured bin laden, tied him to a tree filled with ants, then let all his victims stab him with a toothpick to death