Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   So Android has "Iris"....Siri's ugly stepsister.

   Martain Luther King Jr. Bday now Muhammad Ali Bday somebody gonna ready this and turn red with hate

   Instead of a relationship status saying "It's complicated" it should just say "Ike and Tina"

   Happy Birthday Benjamin Franklin!..to celebrate your birthday I'm leaving all the lights in the house...thanks again for all your great discoveries and inventions!....especially electricity

   I really should learn to say "congratulations" instead of "are you keeping it?"

   Sarcasm is just one of the many free services I offer to people who ask dumb questions.

   Whoopi Goldberg and Flava Flav should just gone head & admit that Lil Wayne is their child.

   I hate it when feelings get in the way of smart decisions.

   it just me? Or are the three finalists at the end of Funniest Home Videos never the funniest?

   Touch it gently, put 2 fingers inside, if it's wide use 3 fingers, make sure it's wet and rub up and down. Yep that's how you wash a cup.

   Freedom and Human rights are more significant in life compared to science, innovations, modernization, self-righteousness and bigotry... Happy Martin Luther King Day America

   It doesn't matter how many times I find myself, coz there'll always be someone telling me to get lost.

   "Take a breath... take it deep" ...brought to you by "Rihanna's daily health tips"

   I woke up humping the wall of my pillow fort, in case you were wondering how my s@x life is going.

   I now know that asking "How 'bout those Packers" gets you a different response from gay men verses the straight ones.

   ~• << Picture of me when I was younger, I was so cute. :D

   somebody stole my bookbag, now I dont have a pillow to use in class.. .

   wonders if there is a connection beween Jennifer Hudson's Weight loss & Hostess filing Chapter 11

   You know you are addicted to Facebook when you log off Facebook..... turn your computer off.... go to bed, roll over & put the covers on you and log onto your Facebook from your phone one last time for the night.

    says celebrating MLK day by drinking MILK and eatin' some cookies...Oreos as a matter of fact. However I'm seperating the dark from the white part :Y