Drunk people Funny Status Messages

   amazed about how slow old people drive.That is until they see a parking spot at the mall of course.

   has come to the conclusion that people who think they are better than anybody else have to think that way because no one else thinks they are...

   They say spiders, bears and snakes are as scared of us as we are of them. They have an advantage over people, though. They're probably pretty damned sure people aren't going to bite them.

   starting a facebook anonymous group to help people with their Fb addiction...we will meet 6 times a day right here on Fb...anyone interested?

   WARNING: Asking people about their weekend may result in them telling you about it.

   People treat you differently when you're holding a baby. Especially in strip clubs.

   Here is a tip for you older people: Don't plank, people may think you're dead.

   People who create their own drama, deserve their own karma

   It;s amazing how many people respond to "Hey Dumbass!"

   I love how these photoshop models think they have "fans." Let's be realistic. Most of those people are not your fans, they just want to get you in bed.

   If being drunk before 3pm on a Friday is wrong, I never want to be right.

   I've disappointed a lot of people in my life, you're not special.

   My "Facebook Moments" thing is just a bunch of pictures of me getting drunk so, whatever...

   For all you people thinking about giving healthy Halloween treats, just stop now while you are ahead

   When it comes to a recipe for a disaster, some people thrive on being the main ingredient.

   A new study found that people who take their coffee black are more likely to exhibit psychopathic traits. And people who order a quad shot, non-fat, vanilla soy, extra foam, light whip with caramel drizzle are more likely to be their victims.

   Girl Scout cookie season is specifically timed to occur just as people are giving up on their New Year's resolutions.

   There's a special place on my crappy list for people that complicate relatively simple situations.

   People make me itch!

   Most people write congrats because they don't know the spelling of congrajulashions