Drunk people Funny Status Messages

   We could learn a lot from bees. Organization, productivity, community sacrifice, stinging people who annoy us.

   According to Facebook, some people I don't remember are grilling this weekend.

   If you're a vegan and an atheist and a runner, how do you choose which way to annoy people in a conversation first?

   people who text hey and then say nothing after you respond are seriously demented

   Democracy means simply the bludgeoning of the people by the people.

   Poems that don't rhyme are just really weird sentences that make people feel awkward.

   Why don't people start protesting funerals of members of the Westboro Baptist Church?

   Thanks to modern medicine, people can be sexually active long past the age when anyone wants to see them naked.

   Nowadays People know the price of everything, But the value of nothing.

   I love meeting new people until they say something stupid. Most of my friendships last about 3 minutes.

   People change its a part of life, but sometimes its easier to hold on to the memories of who they were... rather then to realize who they have become...

   My birthday is coming up and I'm mostly just anxious about all the people on facebook who are about to pretend to like me.

   at this point in our culture I'm very surprised there aren't people with nut allergies boycotting the peanuts movie

   People - the most gentle, loving, kind, sympathetic, peaceful and caring creatures in the world. Especially when they need something from you.

   I hate people who keep saying LMS on FaceBook. LMS if you agree.

   If you catch me in the morning in a yoga position... more than likely I passed out drunk that way.

   I'm gonna stand outside a strangers house tonight with a lit candle & tell them it's in remembrance of all the people I killed there.

   How could there have been 60 shootings and 11 people killed in Chicago over the July 4th weekend when guns are not allowed there?

   My road to success is under construction and all the workers are out getting drunk.

   Why do people complain about how broke/poor they are sitting at the bar drinking beer and smoking cigarettes?