Drunk people Funny Status Messages

   Sarcasm is an art.. and some people just don't have an appreciation for art.

   Anybody who says they could never conceive of killing another human being just needs to meet more people.

   Back in my day, Recess was where they sent us out to a rusty death trap circus,, and now people can't eat gluten.

   I hate sharing a name with someone famous. I'm always telling people, "No, no! I'm not THAT Batman!"

   There is a certain brilliance inside people who conceal deep pain with comedy.

   " Dude,I wasn't that drunk." "....you gave a mushroom to a midget and kept yelling 'GROW MARIO GROW!'.

   People who describe things as "better than sex" are having the wrong kind of sex.

   I don't always delete people from facebook, but when I do, I prefer they constantly try to re-friend me and poke me. Stay desperate my ex-friends

   I am aware that I am less than some people perfer me to be but most people are unaware that I am so much more than what they see.

   In a perfect world you would be able to mark people as spam in real life.

   i dont think people enjoyed kates "train" as much as they watched her sisters "caboose"

   My plan this New Years Eve is to avoid people who have plans this New Years Eve.

   Work is the hardest place to avoid talking to people who don't know what the hell they're talking about.

   Some people are just beautifully wrapped boxes of s$it.

   I'm not saying we should kill all the stupid people in the world, I'm just saying we should remove the warning labels from everything and let the problem take care of itself.

   Never tell a woman to calm down when she's drunk, it's like baptizing a cat. It's not gonna work

   Did you ever notice all the people in casino commercials are young, attractive and not in need of oxygen?

   10 out of 2 people are dyslexic.

   Drunk driving, sniffing cocaine, smoking crack, eating p ussy, drinking on the job, rendezvous with prostitutes...All in a days work for Toronto's mayor!!

   Libraries are a good start, but we really need to keep working on the number of places where people shouldn't be allowed to talk.