Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   You're going to need more than just a glass of water to wash away all your ignorance. In fact, you're going to need a whole ocean to wash away the crap you're so full of.

   You do you. Because God knows no one else will.

   Looks like GaryKoenig is back. Afraid to use his name on the jokes that are the same and still so very lame. lame

   Can't wait until November 2nd when we all turn our clocks forward and gain a extra hour of sunlight! And in other news I just want to be a social network influencer.

   Van Jones is correct when he says Canada would be one huge blue state. Canada, could very well be the logical man's savior.

   Ooh Yoda! And did it really take you all day to come up with that insult?

   Big ass booty

   Can't wait until march 9th when we all turn our clocks forward and gain a extra hour of sunlight! And in other news I just want to be a social network influencer.

   An infinite number of monkeys with an infinite number of typewriters and an infinite amount of time would eventually type out the complete works of Shakespeare.

   Here you go moron! 400 Oak Ave, St Charles, MO 63301

   Don't know why I'm so surprised Taylor swift got engaged with Travis Kelsy? Like I've been expecting her to call me any day now to tell me your the one I want!

   Robocop is just a Terminator that hunts minorities.. And dogs

   Didn’t think we’d see the day where Van Jones was the voice of reason…but it’s here.

   GaryKoenig... hear any dry jokes lately that you can steal? Walker.

   Shhhh hear that??? (Hears crickets). That's the sound of your audience to your bad jokes.

   I'm looking to date

   how do you tell the difference between a gator & a croc? gator is a mask while croc is a shoe

   Jason11972 asked me if I wanted to meet him outside. Not really in the mood for a blowjob right now, but thanks anyways buddy.

   Says the guy who keeps insulting random strangers on the Internet and who won't even reveal himself.

   Poor TeaJae. Still a loser.