Drunk people Funny Status Messages

   The internet does not make people ignorant, it just makes their ignorance visible to everyone else.

   I drink one glass of red wine a day for my health. The rest of the bottle is because I like being drunk.

   I still think if people put "whats on their mind" and were honest... statistically the most popular status update would be "sex."

   Homeless people wouldn't be half as poor if they didn't waste all of their money on sharpies and cardboard.

   Why do the people that should never reproduce have the most kids?!?!

   All these years, I just realize........ Can someone please explain to me why the kids from Scooby-Doo were afraid of people in masks, but were totally cool with a talking dog?!

   The only good part about reuniting with an ex is that having sex with them doesn't change the number of people you've slept with.

   Its amazing how many bad decisions can be justified or explained away by just saying, "I was drunk" or "I was in love"

   Dear Santa: This year instead of a gift wish list, I'm sending a list of people I would like to see disappear. Thank you.

   Facebook: Where people go to re-experience their childhood rejection & acceptance issues all over again.

   I don't get it?? How are dead people making new songs? On the radio it just said MJs new tune? It's the same with 2pac? Great skills... It's gonna be the same when I kick the bucket, I'm still gonna update Facebook

   I have been checking facebook less and less. If this continues, I'll eventually forget about all those people for the 2nd time.

   Im the type of person who enjoys making people: cringe, blush, and shake their head when reading my status!

   I hate situations where I have to acknowledge the people I had been successfully ignoring.

   I think people who challenge me at WORDS WITH FRIENDS are most impressed with my vast knowledge of three letter words.

   I'm drinking coffee because people think you've got a problem if you drink vodka in the morning!

   Don't wear the label people give you!! They only know you're name and not your story and one day eventually some of them will end up having to kiss your ass!!

   people with narrow minds , are normaly the ones with the biggest mouths.

   Two of the most honest people in the world; drunk people and little kids

   There are two types of people in this world, those with common sense and those who have to pee on the electric fence for themselves