Drunk people Funny Status Messages

   If we tell people the brain is an app, maybe they’ll start using it.

   Silly sane people...bags are for gas.

   You want this, you want that. People in heII want ice water.

   I do my part to bring people together by putting “Free BBQ” signs in random yards around town.

   The Day-After-Easter Candy Sale at Walmart is currently looking like a fight-to-the-death battle Royal between the all day Pajama People vs the Sweat Pants crowd.

   You know you're too drunk to drive when you swerve to miss a tree, and then realize it was just your air freshener hanging from the rear view mirror

   Will never understand people who look both ways before entering the traffic circle?

   They say do something today that makes the world a better place….so I’m getting drunk.

   The first time I sang in the church choir; two hundred people changed their religion.

   When people dressed like witches, strippers and hobos show up at my front door it must be Halloween because my family reunion was in July. 🤔

   A group of 25 people all huddled yelling You're a sheep as I walk into the store and put my mask on. And ask me for a beer as I walk out. Baaaah NOPE!

   How did people know when Edison got the idea for the lightbulb? If it didn't exist yet, you wouldn't see a lightbulb above him that he just had an idea

   Jesus Christ on a pogo stick. You're actually still defending him! You people really are f*cking nuts.

   Last year, every other message here was attacking Biden and praising Trump. Now, almost every single one of those people are gone. Because they finally realize what a loser Donald is lol.

   If the "Why does the lgbt get a month, but veterans get a day" people actually cared for the military theyd know the military gets multiple days and months, also they would mention "why does the military get one day"? during any other month

   Some people eat bananas for the shape and it shows

   When you have absolutely nothing to smile about, do it anyway. It pisses people off!!

   I drove to town today to pick up my replacement glasses , you wouldn't Believe the people I ran into .....

   Jim Morrison was right. People are strange.

   IMAGINE CHEERING ON PEOPLE IN POWER WHO ARE ACTIVELY TARGETING AND HARMING THE HUNGRY, THE POOR, THE SICK, THE ELDERLY, THE VETERAN, THE DISABLED, THE DIFFERENT, AND THE STRANGER AND STILL SOMEHOW EXPECTING PEOPLE TO BELIEVE YOU FOLLOW JESUS. GMAFB