Drunk people Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Why don't people who drive under the speed limit get ticketed like people who drive over the limit? It says "limit"
←Rate | 08-14-2022 16:56 by Ketchup Comments (0)  


   messageicon I love waving at random people because you know the rest of the day they're trying to figure out who the heck you were!
←Rate | 12-03-2025 05:41 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think my wife is hallucinating..... She keeps telling me she's seeing other people
←Rate | 08-15-2022 05:40 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Remember when we woke up in the morning and the economy was stable, we didn’t deport the wrong people and the world respected us? Yeah, I miss those days too.
←Rate | 04-02-2025 19:02 Comments (0)  


   messageicon People who take care of chickens are literally chicken tenders
←Rate | 12-06-2025 11:55 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The only people who don't want the Redkins to go back to being called the Redskins are ghey sissies who don't watch the game in the first place.
←Rate | 01-26-2025 18:37 Comments (0)  


   messageicon How will people learn from their mistakes without other people to tell them "I told you so"?
←Rate | 05-05-2022 10:44 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm not the best chess player who ever lived, but some people don't even know how to move a pawn. It's pretty straightforward.
←Rate | 06-09-2024 12:55 Comments (0)  


   messageicon While Dems are trying to figure out which bathroom to use Musk just rescued people in outer space.
←Rate | 03-17-2025 01:19 by TDSisReal Comments (0)  


   messageicon ..... Congratulations Redblacks!!! ...... Wait a minute .... What the heck is a Redblack? ..... Answer: Another Underdog ..... Who just won the Grey Cup!!! ..... OK .... It's the Canadian (People that live north of the US) ..... version of the Superbowl.
←Rate | 11-27-2016 22:38 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I’ve never considered myself a social butterfly. More like a social wasp. People run away a lot.
←Rate | 08-05-2021 14:12 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I learn from the mistakes of people who took my advice.
←Rate | 03-22-2023 09:09 Comments (0)  


   messageicon This is a special status. Only people who are sex deprived can read this status.
←Rate | 07-26-2022 08:10 Comments (0)  


   messageicon party idea: “DUI or IUD?” you can only invite people who have one or both and you CAN’T divulge which
←Rate | 07-22-2022 14:35 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't know if people who wear pajamas in public have given up on life or are living it to the fullest.
←Rate | 07-22-2023 08:13 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Christmas and Thanksgiving should be at least 6 months apart. It's insane to see these people again so soon. Absurd.
←Rate | 12-04-2023 05:38 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon Back to the future was yesterday people hello the 21st not the 22nd retards
←Rate | 10-22-2015 16:42 Comments (0)  


   messageicon those people in the office with the rolling cart full of everyone's mail....they really push the envelope
←Rate | 11-14-2017 20:54 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Stop trying to please people that already don't like you. Instead embrace the idea of being the most annoying person in their lives.
←Rate | 03-04-2026 11:06 Comments (0)  


   messageicon People complain about gas prices but pay for gym memberships and don’t even go.
←Rate | 09-18-2025 12:26 by MM Comments (0)  




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