Drunk people Funny Status Messages

   Don’t worry if you had a bad day, please remember there are people who have their ex’s name tattooed.

   Cops have new drunk driving tests. There’s one they pull out a wallet-size photo of Nancy Pelosi & ask you, ‘Is she attractive?

   Santa, you break into people's houses and eat their cookies; don't judge me.

   Congratulations to the people who never took their Christmas decorations down you’re almost there

   The reason the 'why does the military only get one day' people mention it mainly during Pride Month is because the dysphoric, rainbow cucks ram it down our throats. (Not to mention each other's.)

   people who do mutinies should be called mutants

   Word of the Day: Bozone. The aura surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating.

   More people would get the booster if it came with fries.

   I think people who get really offended by things they read on the Internet are probably the same people that take minigolf really seriously

   If you want to know How many people you can spray down with Febreze before they fire you as a Wal Mart greeter.The answer is 18

   Anyone else find it funny that all these "Why does the military only get one day" people only say it during june? Never during any of the other 11 months

   It isn't that I'm not a people person, I'm just not a stupid people person.

   The police.... The only people who ever wanted me for who I really am.

   I wonder if people paying $300 for a Colon Cleanse even know about the new $4.99 Taco Bell deal?

   Clocks go back on November 3. I hope mine goes back to when people had morals, values, loyalty, appreciation, and respect.

   Keep the business cards from people you don’t like. That way, if you should ever hit a parked car, you can leave it on the windshield

   I hate when people say that the ears are their favorite part of a chocolate Easter Bunny. Gross out with all that wax and stuff, and they stink too.

   I have my Siri set up as a British Male voice so I can pretend I'm Nightrider or make people think I have a Buttler .

   I find it humorous that all of a sudden people care about the Afghanistan people. God, humans are so hypocritical.

   і wіsh you could doordash some of you people knuckle sandwіches