Drunk people Funny Status Messages

   I really don't understand some people. They tell everyone to think for themselves and have your own freedom, yet they like bring told what to do by a fat, orange man. I don't want to live on this planet anymore.

   If your main concern is what pronouns people call you, then you are one of the most privileged people in the world.

   Well, the people outside are frightful. And the traffic, is far from delightful. (blocking the intersection) since they got no place to go. people blow people blow people blow...

   Swine Flu is back? Just when you think something is gone forever it comes back and makes people sick.. Just like Branden

   Please buy my new book: Losing weight while staying drunk.

   I hope people who wear their masks on their chin not covering their face at all just so they can say that they're wearing a mask know that they look like something their contraceptive fell off of.

   Sometimes when people come up in my chat on Facebook, I feel like Facebook is like "Go on. Open that pandoras box" LOL

   people from india shouldnt be selling hamburgers. I guess cows arent as sacred as the benjamins

   Thank you to all the people who gave their lives figuring out which mushrooms we can and can’t eat.

   All the smart people sold their soul for knowledge.

   I was at a restaurant tonight & I saw the "caution wet floor" sign. I wonder how blind people know. those signs don't have braille

   Wondering why people who are in Love would want to re-arrange the alphabets "I" and "U" to express their feelings, honestly I don't see a valid reason of doing that whatsoever

   Some people say marijuana makes you dumb, but I smoke all the time and my IQ is 420.

   Only supporting the far-rights isn't uniting people. Just saying.

   “Crocodiles are easy. They try to kill and eat you. People are harder. Sometimes they pretend to be your friend first.”

   Hurricanes are wet. Very wet. With lots of wet water. Not many people know that.

   Why do gender reveal parties only surprise you with blue or pink? I've never seen anyone reveal the whole rainbow. Aren't people supposedly "born this way" ?

   Karaoke is that one thing that convinces hundreds of drunk people they can actually sing.

   Face timing people vs seeing them in person during this virus thing is the same as eating pu$$y with a balloon on your tongue.

   If Joe Biden's economy is so good, why can't those student loans people pay back their own loans?