Drunk people Funny Status Messages

   It is amazing how life is full of the most beautiful things, some people see them as beautiful and bright, some see them as dark and mysterious, is there always a bright light at the end? I'm just glad I can see them!

   Some people seem to have an issue with the responsibility of being trusted.

   its how funny how you can tell some people cant spell. "they speak into the phone"

   I hate it when friends talk to people you have been with or had things with... It's like bros before hoes has no meaning at all these days.

   I think there should be a hotline that won't answer for people who never take advice in the first place.

   I'm an experienced drunk texter/facebooker. I keep my mouth shut

   why do people w glasses look like the cutest baby hamsters when they take them off

   I wish people were more social on social sights. . .

   I have an idea for a new movement. Call it “People Against People Against People.” Basically, we’d go around protesting anyone who is discriminating against someone else. Race, religion, political views, it doesn't matter. If you have protesters and

   I want to admit my mistakes, but people might think that I'm and idiot.

   Stupid people really irritate me. I wish I could piss on some people and sprinkle some wisdom on them.

   People say when I dance, it looks like I'm looking for my keys.

   Our hearts are drunk with a beauty our eyes could never see.

   Why do people reply to me in other languages? I don't know wtf you're saying. I only speak three languages: English, Parseltounge

   Anyone else find it funny that during Pride Month, So many people said "why does the military only get one day" but I have not heard Anyone say it today

   I assume nowadays the Christmas family portrait theme involves four people staring into their electronic devices next to the Christmas tree...

   So many people leave their bodies to science, I wanna leave my body to accounting

   i like to follow random people, star their tweets and throw in a trophy then quickly unfollow them. makes me a twitter ninja

   I'm watching Lionel Ritchie, and Big and Rich are doing Brick House. I am not convinced country singers need to stick to country, and leave the R&B to people with rhythm!

   I always lick my lips when I see kids in public places because they need to realize their are bad people in this world