Drunk people Funny Status Messages

   the lucky is the only cigarette in the pacK that I get drunk and light backwards

   Today is Moon Day and Ugly Truck Day. So if you own an Ugly Truck, please feel free to Moon people today, but for safety's sake please only do it at red lights.

   I want to admit my mistakes, but people might think that I'm an idiot.

   Hmm, I should throw a party with fake alcohol and see how many people act wasted.

   Oi, FB friends, enjoy, love and relax..... love what you do and love the people around you... but always be prepared to explore and be ready for change............ dont get bored and dont be boring.......

   The Blind side- Letting people know that kidnapping is profitable

   A new Lego store opened in my town. People were really excited about it. They were lined up for blocks.

   The problem with this country is that too many people say they want Justice when what they really want is Revenge.

   Pretty convinced that my left eyebrow and my right eyebrow belong to two different people with very different lifestyles.

   Do you know why you’re pressing unlike button that many every day; because, most of time, people are talking and thinking of their own interests.

   Adult gummy Melatonin: because while fat, drunk and stupid might be the American norm, fat drunk stupid and sleep deprived is unacceptable.

   "I hate fake people," Danny announced as he pushed the store mannequin over and kicked it in the torso.

   "We do pretty well around here considering that people are basically good." -Satan talking to Lucifer

   I'm sorry Real World.. I don't have time to get to know 7 more people.. My Fb is already full!

   mad the only time people like stufff is if it's BAD... :\

   you know you are the luckiest person when ur on the beach in the middle of 10's of people and a Pigeon decides to send you regards from above.

   Hall way monitors at school..was bad enough..now we have to work these people...sheeesh.!!!!!

   I've got a huge tip for people with lots of rubbish.

   People who bring a bottle of wine to your house really want you to see that they are people who brought a bottle of wine to your house.

   Shout out to all the fat people that are hungry for success.