Drunk people Funny Status Messages

   I got My space and Facebook mixed up this weekend... I kept telling people come on My-Face!!!

   wondering why retarded people are blissful

   I've really got to quit telling people about my wedding. The guest list is out of control & the Bride may not even have been born yet!

   think I will go to the mall and watch people trip on an escalator

   You shouls say, People neither hate you for your weaknesses, nor for your your strengths; they hate you when you're needy and clingy.

   If you can't handle the truth, stop asking tge questions. I'm into fairytales. Come on people, you know Snow White slept with a dwarf before Prince Charming came along!

   Don't try to high five blind people Ryan Seacrest, it is awkward.

   If we all start to talk to people than about people then this world would be a better place.

   Those people that make fun of you for flinching are annoying. Of course I try to avoid getting hit in the face.

   If I had a gold medal, I'd tell people I won it in the Mugging Gold Medalists event.

   A quick temper will make a fool of you very soon. Especially for a lot of people here.

   sometimes picture you drowning then they laugh so hard then the people they hang out with thinks they're crazy

   Don’t text and drive. You’ll misspell a lot of words and people will be like wow I don’t respect this guy.

   Dude if she was my girlfriends I would probably be drunk all the time too.

   Pro tip:When women want to be held, hold em When they're sad, love em When they're drunk, try for butthole. It's easier when they're drunk \ :D /

   Majority of people prepared to die for their rights are also willing to lie to avoid their responsibilities.

   People who cry like a baby over repeated jokes. Life is short - stop sulking.

   some people take so much s hit from me and are still in love with me. it's great!

   wonders how many people could get high from snorting Amy Winehouse's ashes...

   Damn gurl... Are you left over pizza from Saturday night because I was going to get rid of you but now that I'm drunk ur all I can think about.