Drunk people Funny Status Messages

   People on the plane, rained mainly on Ukraine

   Got really drunk and had unprotected sex with the cashier lady at the 7-Eleven last night. Hope I don't catch Slurpees.

   Transitions Lenses are a great way let people know you wear socks when you're having sex.

   Does Cheese say 'People!' when taking a picture?

   : "Ruth patiently waited for her mate Boaz." While you are waiting on YOUR Boaz, don't settle for any of his relatives; Broke-az, Po-az, Lyin-az, Cheating-az, Dumb-az, Drunk-az, Cheap-az, Lockedup-az, Goodfornothing-az, Lazy-az, & especially his third cou

   Onions can make people cry but there's never been a vegetable that can make ppl laugh

   going to build an ark for the events thats going to happen on 21/12/2012, I can take the 1st 100 people, Early Bird Tickets come on sale 21/12/2011, make me an offer before you miss out

     Beer: Helping ugly people have sex since 3000 B.C.!!!

   Don't drink and park. Accidents cause people.

   To all you Pro Obama people praising him for this deed.. I don't remeber Usama being anywhere near the Whitehouse when killed. That is where Obama was sleeping while this mission took place. It has also been said that the intel leading to his whereabouts

   some people have their baby ruths or their michael jordan or wayne gretzky or dan marinos but my idol is adam from man vs. food.

   some weird fat man with a white beard wearing red clothes just shoved me into a big red sock... OK people, which one of you asked to get me for Christmas??

   people who have pitbulls are cowards who havent got the guts to bite people themselves!

   I wonder if young people on honeymoons today have as much sex as we did when I was young. For the first week on our cruise, most people thought my wife and I were Siamese twins.

   alright ladies! Lets sing a song! If you're drunk and you know it,c raise you shirt!

   first 10 people to hit me up at 2:30 am sunday gets a free airfare roundtrip airfare

   People who have more than 10 items in the express line… Well Fu#k you to

   If you're a good enough cook, fat people will let you pet them while they're eating.

   Make sure the important people in your life know how important they are before it’s too late.

   I killed 6 people this morning thinking they were post-apocalyptic zombies. Then I realized there was no apocalypse, it's just Sunday morning on a long weekend. Sorry to the families of the people who's brains I spiked in the church parking lot this morni