Drunk people Funny Status Messages

   God must love stupid people- he made so many!

   Nothing sums up the proud Mexican spirit like drunk blonde girls, in sombreros, chanting "Patron."

   If it's consistency you're shooting for, it's pretty simple to disappoint all of the people all of the time.

   If there was a hero that saved people from awkward conversations, he'd be more popular than Superman.

   I'm hearing Fight's breaking out over new pairs of Jordan's shoe at Mall's across the country. um...there's no punchline to this, just people getting punched in line!

   There are certain days in the year where it's socially acceptable to act like a retard. Someone tell the people here it's not one of those days...

   I'm doing a charity gig tonight for people who struggle to achieve multi orgazims. Don't worry if you can't come! For those of you that will come...Sign the guest, list below!

   I feel lSH*T ...you know the way those people felt when The Dave Matthews band emptied their RV's septic tank

   If I deleted people from my home page, wouldn't it just make more sense to delete them completely?

   Heres how to make me cry: take a picture of two old people and write 'best friends' on it.

   You can not take people's right away who want to take other people rights. You become as bad as them. We all have rights, even stupid people like the hate and anti hate group people.

   You can't hang around trifling people, you will begin to think it's normal if you have nothing else to compare it to

   I lost my job at the emergency hotline because I kept answering “share the joke” when people called and said “I’m dying here”

   I hate when there are other people at the bank.

   You do the work of three people......Larry, Moe and Curly.

   There is a new movie out about the lives of White Trash people, but I've only seen the trailer.

   Sometimes reasoning with people is like a cat trying to bury a turd under a concrete tile floor!

   what did people used to do when they couldn't google the answers to their homework?

   McDonalds should advertise their double drive thrus help people lose wait...

   I don't care if Noones likes me I'm still going to post while drunk :)